Tag Archives: self worth

You have done enough

Are You Pushing Yourself Too Hard?

Where you pushing yourself too hard… and creating unhappiness for yourself? Watch the video and reset your expectations – what would be enough??

You have a goal. Something important to you. Something you said yes to creating, doing, achieving because you believed it would make you happy. And so you go on your way to making that goal a reality, and then something shifts. You realize consciously or maybe not consciously that to reach said goal, you are going to have to push yourself to make it. Work hard. Cancel dates. Put pressure on yourself. And the thing you were doing to make you happy is now making you unhappy.

I’ve been doing this all week with my upcoming book about reforming Inner Mean Girls – pushing myself to get it all done in the next four days even though it’s not due for 6 more weeks. Uh, I think my Inner Mean Girl has been hanging on the couch with me!!

The truth is that while there are moments we need to push hard, those should be few and far between.

Your main way of operating your life should NOT be pushing yourself so hard.

Not if you are working in alignment with what is truly best for you, and what the divine had in store for you.

Why does it happen then? You make up these mental pictures or thoughts in your mind about what you should be able to do, and how fast you should be able to do it. And then push hard to get there. But what if… instead of pushing hard and driving yourself to what you think you should be able to do, you stopped, reassessed and did ENOUGH.

No more. No less. Just enough.

My friend Sam Bennett, who wrote this great book called GET IT DONE – without having to exhaust yourself to do it! – calls this going for the “C” instead of the A++ — which my achiever has a really hard time with. But my Inner Wisdom knows is spot on.

To make this work for me, I apply self love and my mantra I AM ENOUGH by asking myself the powerful question,”What would enough look like?” And then I give myself permission to do that. I can’t do the C but I can do ENOUGH!

Today I share it with you so you can stop pushing yourself so hard! And reclaim your happiness around the thing you decided to do to make happiness!!

Watch the video and then here on the blog, ask yourself the question, “WHAT WOULD ENOUGH LOOK LIKE?” and then take your self-love enoughness stand
1. I am pushing myself too hard to…
2. Enough would look like…
3. I give myself permission to …
4. And then claim it THAT IS ENOUGH!!

I’ll go first:
I am pushing myself too hard to finish all 9 chapters of my book in the next four days, even though the manuscript isn’t due for 6 more weeks. Enough would look like me having 6 chapters done really well and tight so I don’t have to go back to them. I give myself permission to only complete 6 chapters before I leave my writing retreat, trusting that all will be done in divine timing. THAT IS ENOUGH!

Now your turn! Post here on the blog…

And remember you are invited to join me to really take make this a YEAR OF ENOUGHNESS — to break habits that keep you from the compassion, care, pleasure, all that good self love. You can join me at the Love Club for a year of self-love! Check it out, www.JoinTheLoveClub.com

You are enough

Self Acceptance: Why You Never Feel Like You Do Enough… Achievers Amnesia.

Watch this video & acknowledge yourself for how much you have already done so you can start your year from a place of feeling ENOUGH!

I am seeing an epidemic going on that I think you might be afflicted by. And as you set out to create your dreams and go for your soul goals, I thought you might want to see if this is true for you (so we make sure you don’t create undue stress and pressure for yourself)…

You have a goal or a dream.
A project. Something you want to create or cause.
Or even just the things you want to get done it a day.

You put energy, time, money, love towards them.
And you reach goal. You finish the project. Reach the milestone.
You have what should feel success.
But somehow the feeling of success and accomplishment doesn’t last very long.

Maybe for a day or a few hours, you feel like wow, that happened. And then almost as if you get concked on the head you come down with amnesia … you forget how awesome you are, how much you’ve already accomplished, how what you wanted is actually occurring… you don’t celebrate or let yourself really RECEIVE what’s happened, all you can see is how much more you need to do. This is why of course, what you do rarely feels like it’s enough.

I call this Achievers Amnesia and so many people I know suffer from this. Even people in the public eye that you know and would think, ‘She is so successful’… in afflicted by this achievers amnesia.

Here’s truth love, this pattern of achievers amnesia creates stress, exhaustion and unhappiness for you… and you give so much to what you care about – be that your work, your loved ones, your body, your community, the world, that I am taking a stand as your self-love sister to make sure YOU APPRECIATE and ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF all the way through this year. Self Acceptance is grown by Appreciating, Acknowledging and Adoring yourself.

Watch this week’s love letter, take the daring act of love, and then make sure to put Feb 13th, Self-Love Day your calendar (i have a special invitation for you!)

Watch the video and then take the daring act of love to APPRECIATE and ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF by posting your ILOVEME list of 5 things you Choose to recognize yourself for.

I’ll start

I acknowledge myself for becoming a more kind person… for healing so many of my love cracks… for trusting the divine to guide my life and taking big acts of faith… for doing yoga every day for the past 90 days… for receiving a great book contract to write my next book which I am so excited to write. Ahhhh. that feels good!

Now your turn… post your five acknowledgements here and I’ll reflect them to you so you can feel them even more…

And then make sure to RSVP for the livestream Self Love Party on Feb 13th, my gift to you www.SelfLoveParty.com

Self Love Day Party banner


self love quote

Start Your Year from Self Love: 4 ?s to Making Heart & Soul Goals, not pressured-filled goals

Watch this video & get the 4 questions to ask your heart and soul so you create a year you LOVE!

It can be hard to hear your heart and soul – it can feel daunting, and you can get stuck in your brain real fast. And you can also short circuit yourself because of fear. Which is why I invented this AWESOME LOVE FILLED GAME for finding your Heart & Soul Goals, and creating a year motivated by LOVE not pressure, fear or lack.

I’ve been playing this game all week — with Noah, at dinner with friends, and last night we had a Dream Party where we all played it and then painted our heart and soul desires on our windows! And now I will share it with you (window painting is optional).

The game is based on 4 core questions that help you get into your heart and soul DESIRES (desire means “from the stars” – in other words you co-create with Spirit instead of from want, lack or fear).

Here are the questions:

1. What do you desire to DO in 2014? (these are actions you desire to take)
2. What do you desire to HAVE in 2014? (these are things you are in relationship to – people, material things)
3. Who do you desire to BE in 2014? (this is about who you CHOOSE to be in the world this year)
4. What do you desire to FEEL in 2014 ? (choose three words that culiminate how you want to feel – your heart and soul work on the feeling level)

self love quote

To bring these to life say them out loud with a friend, or get pieces of paper and free flow write the answers, using the questions as statements —

“In 2014, I desire to DO… ”

“In 2014, I desire to HAVE…”

“In 2014, I desire to BE…”

“In 2014,  I desire to FEEL” — and before you talk or write, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take a breath and then just write or say what comes — no thinking it, FEEL it or SEE it… and let it emerge. The best is when you just let the energy rip out of you talking or writing and YOU surprise yourself.



A few important self-love and spiritual pieces of wisdom

1. Use the word DESIRE not words like “like to have” “want to do” – want comes from lack, like from a place of not deserving – that is so not self-love! So when you state these desires, it’s about coming from wholeness and enoughness. You already have access to all of this inside of you and through your connection to spirit. Desire means ‘From the stars’ so using this word invokes the truth that you are A. Aligning with Divine Will and B. Co Creating with the Divine. This isn’t about magical thinking or hopeful manifesting, but getting yourself into alignment with your heart and soul’s wisdom. When you do that, you create your year instead of pressure fill it.

2. January is the DREAMING TIME, February the Seeding Time – so play with these questions all month/moon long. This January holds a full cycle of the moon, which from a divine feminine perspective is really awesome and powerful. because when we create in conjunction with the moon cycle, we create realities that make harmony in our lives instead of stress.

Let’s get the desire pump primed — choose one of the 4 self love questions and STATE HERE ON THE BLOG one desire – “In 2014, I desire to Do… Have… Be… Feel… —

Here’s one of mine… it’s a DO DESIRE…  “In 2014, I desire to take a group of women to Italy for a Divine Feminine Immersion – a week of absolutely activating their Feminine Super Powers to Receive & Achieve instead of overgive and overdo… and then I desire to stay in Italy and the coasts of Greece to travel and have my own personal experience for the rest of the month!”

Now your turn… post it here on the blog.

And remember, the Inner Mean Girl 40-day cleanse starts on January 12th – clear your mind of toxins like Comparison, Guilt and Fear… Go to www.InnerMeanGirlCleanse.com for the divine details!

Self Love is giving yourself what you need

Stop Over-Giving and Over-Doing – start slowing down to receive

At my live self love events on the Team Love Tour, I’ve been talking alot about how most of us are great at GIVING and DOING and kind of lousy at RECEIVING and RESTING.

Why is it so hard to receive without giving something back? To rest, without feeling guilty?

See if any of these ring true for you…

  • You’ve been taught its better to give than receive.
  • You value giving and doing more than receiving and resting.
  • You don’t trust that receiving and resting will give you what you need to be taken care of.
  • You’ve made yourself manager of the universe. Your ego likes to keep you believing that if you aren’t doing it, it likely won’t get done, or get done right.
  • To get what you need, you believe that you have to give more, buy more or make more.

If any of these ring true, the truth is you work more, spend more than you have to. And probably feel more of the burden of having to do it all on your own. And the burden is real. Because if you are always the one giving and doing, you don’t leave the space for the divine to come in and do the heavy lifting for you. And that is just not self love!

This week the Divine showed up in the form of yellow boots, an oyster farm, a beautiful house on the Puget Sound off the coast of Seattle Washington with a view that allowed me to literally crowdsource my dinner, receive a car, and really get how grace moves when we create the space – and stop trying to do it all and figure it out ourselves.

Blog Photo Crowd Sourse Dinner

Here’s me with Jan – the oyster farmer who grows oysters right outside her house and lent me the yellow boots, she gave us the oysters and an entire lesson on growing them before we ever invited her and her husband to dinner. Doug – the best mussel cleaner (and a great lawyer!). Char – provided the view, the table and the home. Noah – our chef. Me  – the inspiration and the extrovert who talked to Jan, met Char through a friend, and decided we should all have paella and Oysters Rockefeller for dinner.

Blog Photo Yelow Boots a walking


This experience left me with these questions, that I ask you this week and then talk about in this week’s video –

  1. Where in your life are you over-giving and over-doing and not leaving the space for Grace to come in.
  2. And how can you RECEIVE more by using what you already have? Or what others can offer?
  3. What if it wasn’t a man eat man world… but instead, together we really could create what we needed, and all work less?

This week’s love letter is an inspirational story + short but mighty process that I’ve used to curtail the over-doing and over-giving and allow Grace to do its magic.  And in the process you choose self love for yourself.

Watch this weeks video and loosen your over giving and over doing grip to create space and allow grace to do the work for you.

And then post here on the blog ONE SMALL BUT MIGHTY ACTION you can take to STOP OVER GIVING & OVER DOING … and start RECEIVING.

Me?  I am saying NO to creating events this fall that I have to run and support on my own. I am So willing to go where the Divine grace would lead me, supported to speak with people ready for the messages and teachings of self-love, owning our worth, and the feminine super powers.

Okay, now your turn… apply the super power of self love and take action…