Tag Archives: self respect

Self Love Mantra I only have loving respectful relationshps

Self Love Blog: What to Do With People Who Won’t Respect You

Watch this love letter video to learn how you can transform relationships in which you don’t feel or receive respect – no matter who that person is.

Because here is the truth — YOU DESERVE TO HAVE ONLY RESPECTFUL, LOVING RELATIONSHIPS…. and lots of them. And NO ONE gets a pass at respecting you. Mother, father, mate, brother, sister, grandparent, relative, friend, boss, teacher, whomever…

As an act of self-love, I invite you to take the promise of “I only have loving, respectful relationships” and this week, get honest about one relationship in which the energy between the two of you is NOT full of respect and love.

Then… follow the steps I lay out in the video, and transform the energy between the two of you. Now, let me be clear, don’t expect that all of the sudden you are going to create some Hallmark version of a relationship, that is likely not going to be the outcome. Because ultimately you only have the power to control your own actions.

Taking this stand and these steps will however, help you to put relationships in the right place in your life, shift the energy between you and people who can’t or wont’ respect you, and open up your life for more loving relationships from those who can.


Then, as an act of self love… here on the blog write down THE SELF LOVE ACTION you will take to transform at least one relationship in your life in your vow to only have loving, respectful relationships. I’ll be here to witness you knowing that when you say you will do something, and hold yourself accountable, you are more likely to do it.

OKAY… now your turn…

I’ll go first, using an example from my real relationship with my sister that I DID take action on…

“Even though my sister and I fight a lot, and we swear, yell and scream, I no longer accept this energy in our relationship. I committ to shifting the energy between us by no longer disrespecting her. SO when we fight, she gets mean or calls me names, I will tell her that I will only talk to her if we can be respectful to each other. If she cannot do that, I will SET A BOUNDARY and will walk away. I will NOT spew out disrespectful energy. Because I only choose to have respectful, loving relationships, and that means I only give respect. I won’t be a a doormat or let myself be victimized. I will set a boundary and choose LOVE, for myself and her.”



And then if you need more support, you can do The Love Rings program Dare to Be Loved (only takes about 90-minutes) to get your relationships in right alignment with who people can really be – go here  http://40daysofselflove.com/wine-and-the-divine-dare-to-be-loved/

Or if you are really ready to make big change, take a 40-day self-love practice with me that is all about taking and keeping the self love promises, I WILL NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN MY HEART AND SOUL DESIRE … and I ONLY HAVE LOVING RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS. It’s called Choosing Me Before We. Go here to see more. www.ChoosingMEbeforeWE.com

Mantra Self Respect give it

RESPECT – Do Not Do These 3 Things If You Want Loving Relationships

Watch this video where we share 3 things you DO NOT want to do if you want only loving respectful relationships. Then choose one of the “respect killers” we talk about, and dare to give up this toxic habit. Post which one you will give up and what you believe giving it up will give you.

For example: I give up calling my sister a bitc…you know what (or any other nasty name.) And I know that this will give me more happiness because I won’t be creating negative energy inside myself.

I did this over a decade ago with my sister. We used to fight like cats and we had the mouths of two girls from the south side of Chicago. We were skilled with our profanity! When I took the self-love vow to have ONLY RESPECTFUL LOVING RELATIONSHIPS, this was the hardest relationship for me to change.

But I had to start with not contributing to the disrespect by swearing at her and calling her names. I had to choose SELF RESPECT first… who did I want to be? Because the self love truth is that no matter how much a person is mean to you or tries to get under your skin, they are still a divine being of love, who deserves love. This doesn’t mean you become a doormat or a victim or stay in close relations with people who are mean and abusive and disrespectful. But it does mean that YOU have to choose first to stop contributing to the disrespect. That is part of self-respect

And that is what this weeks Love Letter is all about.

More on how to be in relationship with people who can’t and won’t respect you in next week’s love letter.

If you want other people to respect and honor you, you have to GIVE respect first, to yourself and others.

Yes, it’s true… you can’t be a raving lunatic with your mate, or talk smack about your friends, or say dis-respectful things to people you love and expect them to shower you with respect. And this shows up differently for all of us. Maybe…

1. You are the kind of person who gives respect to others, gets disrespected and then goes into doormat or victim mode or

2. You demand and expect respect from others, but sometimes don’t always play by the same rules or

3. You come from honor and respect most of the time, but sometimes you just can’t come from love with certain people…

We can all hone our skills in relationships, so that we create MORE LOVE, without sacrificing our own self respect and without settling for less than the unconditional love we deserve.

For now, watch the video and take a stand for self -respect and love and give up at least one of these toxic habits. Write it here on the blog and then ask your Inner Wisdom what you think you will receive… and write that too so you can see the benefit.

And if you want more support on creating the BEST relationships of your life, try the 40-day Choosing Me Before WE self love practice – check it out at www.ChoosingMEbeforeWE.com

self love quote

Self-Love Blog: Why Smart People Stay in Bad Relationships

Watch this self-love video to find the deeper answer to why people – why you — choose to stay in relationships and situations that are not respectful, that don’t honor your soul, heart and dreams.

While I could tell you that the reason we sell ourselves out and stay in non-honoring situations is because of our parents, our societal beliefs, the media, yada yada, I am not going to do that today. Not because those things don’t have an affect – of course they do. (if you’ve read my book Choosing ME before WE, you know I totally tried to re-create my parents dysfunctional relationship, until I starting growing my self respect and self honor branch of self love.)

But today I want to take you deeper, out of just your mind, into your heart and soul, out of your mind… because that is where we can make powerful shift, fast without having to spend 10 years talking about it. Self respect and self honor = taking actions that honor your soul and heart.

So take a moment and pause here… look around at your life – at your relationships, with partners, children, relatives, friends, co-workers, bosses, everyone… and notice, which of these relationships are not honoring you?

Some may be toxic, controlling, demeaning, abusive even, others may just be the WRONG situation… in any case, the relationship doesnt honor or respect you, yet you stay. Why?

Watch this week’s Love Letter video to find out WHY we stay in situations that don’t honor ourselves and then choose one act of self love… why you have forgotten that you are sacred and how to never forget again.


I’ve given you a few thoughts in the video. You may have your own. Post them here so you can hold yourself accountable to your self-love actions.

Think of your action like a ritual. Sacred things require ritual. You need simple sacred rituals to remind you everyday that you are sacred — you would never let a being you felt was sacred, a child, an animal, a friend stay in a dishonoring situation without attempting to help them. You deserve your love today!


go here www.ChoosingMebeforeWe.com to find out more.
JOIN THE LOVE CLUB THIS MONTH – where you’ll get a meditation, support, a live call with me and more to strengthen your ability to choose ONLY RESPECTFUL HONORING SITUATIONS AND RELATIONSHIPS go here to learn more.