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believe you deserve the best

Choose Self Love: Stop Tolerating What Doesn’t Support You


Today I am writing you from the road as Noah and I make the trek to Northern California where we will spend the summer with good friends, writing, creating and playing. And I am feeling so full of gratitude for having a relationship and a lifestyle that really aligns to the truth of my heart and soul.

And it always hasn’t been that way.

There was the verbally abusive relationship I tolerated for 14 years, because I was afraid to lose love.

The house I hung onto for at least three years too long because of the security I thought it gave me.

And in the past few weeks, I’ve talked to SO many people who have dreams for their lives… but that are TOLERATING situations, beliefs, and relationships that keep them from what they really want. And that is not self love.

My question to you is…

What are you tolerating?

We tolerate people and situations for way past their expiration date because we falsely believe that’s how it has to be…

or because we are afraid…

or because we haven’t surrendered control to a bigger power.

And so my other question for you this week is…

Are you willing to stop tolerating circumstances that don’t serve and support your heart and soul, and start empowering yourself to be the king or queen of your life? Are you willing to take a stand for self love.

If yes, then take the three step transformation process in the video and then boldly claim what you are not tolerating any longer here…

Lean in to your self-honesty branch of self love and answer these questions…

Step 1.
What am I tolerating?

Step 2. What is tolerating this costing me?

Step 3. What is the truth?

Step 4. What is ONE small but mighty action I can take to step forward into the truth?

Then write here, so we can witness and super power your stand…

I will NO LONGER TOLERATE… (insert what you are tolerating)
I CHOOSE… (insert your mighty action)

So for example… I will NO LONGER TOLERATE having friends who don’t really support me. I choose to receive support from people who can support me instead of wishing others would or could.

Self Love is giving yourself what you need

Stop Over-Giving and Over-Doing – start slowing down to receive

At my live self love events on the Team Love Tour, I’ve been talking alot about how most of us are great at GIVING and DOING and kind of lousy at RECEIVING and RESTING.

Why is it so hard to receive without giving something back? To rest, without feeling guilty?

See if any of these ring true for you…

  • You’ve been taught its better to give than receive.
  • You value giving and doing more than receiving and resting.
  • You don’t trust that receiving and resting will give you what you need to be taken care of.
  • You’ve made yourself manager of the universe. Your ego likes to keep you believing that if you aren’t doing it, it likely won’t get done, or get done right.
  • To get what you need, you believe that you have to give more, buy more or make more.

If any of these ring true, the truth is you work more, spend more than you have to. And probably feel more of the burden of having to do it all on your own. And the burden is real. Because if you are always the one giving and doing, you don’t leave the space for the divine to come in and do the heavy lifting for you. And that is just not self love!

This week the Divine showed up in the form of yellow boots, an oyster farm, a beautiful house on the Puget Sound off the coast of Seattle Washington with a view that allowed me to literally crowdsource my dinner, receive a car, and really get how grace moves when we create the space – and stop trying to do it all and figure it out ourselves.

Blog Photo Crowd Sourse Dinner

Here’s me with Jan – the oyster farmer who grows oysters right outside her house and lent me the yellow boots, she gave us the oysters and an entire lesson on growing them before we ever invited her and her husband to dinner. Doug – the best mussel cleaner (and a great lawyer!). Char – provided the view, the table and the home. Noah – our chef. Me  – the inspiration and the extrovert who talked to Jan, met Char through a friend, and decided we should all have paella and Oysters Rockefeller for dinner.

Blog Photo Yelow Boots a walking


This experience left me with these questions, that I ask you this week and then talk about in this week’s video –

  1. Where in your life are you over-giving and over-doing and not leaving the space for Grace to come in.
  2. And how can you RECEIVE more by using what you already have? Or what others can offer?
  3. What if it wasn’t a man eat man world… but instead, together we really could create what we needed, and all work less?

This week’s love letter is an inspirational story + short but mighty process that I’ve used to curtail the over-doing and over-giving and allow Grace to do its magic.  And in the process you choose self love for yourself.

Watch this weeks video and loosen your over giving and over doing grip to create space and allow grace to do the work for you.

And then post here on the blog ONE SMALL BUT MIGHTY ACTION you can take to STOP OVER GIVING & OVER DOING … and start RECEIVING.

Me?  I am saying NO to creating events this fall that I have to run and support on my own. I am So willing to go where the Divine grace would lead me, supported to speak with people ready for the messages and teachings of self-love, owning our worth, and the feminine super powers.

Okay, now your turn… apply the super power of self love and take action…