Tag Archives: self esteem

self care

Self Love Blog: How to Ask For What You Need Without Feeling Guilty or Like a Jerk

How do you get what you need when you also are taking care of others and what they need?

Watch this self-love letter and find out how.

When we are over-focused on taking care of others who need our support or when we are afraid of what people’s reactions will be if we ask for support too… it can be REALLY hard to ask for what YOU need…

And if you don’t ask for what you need, you don’t get what you need. And if you don’t get what you need, you suffer.

In your life, there are likely lots of people who rely on you – and many of these people and projects you love to serve and support. And yet, sometimes, let’s be honest, you can feel like, “What about me? What about what I need? Who is taking care of me?”

Just uttering or thinking those words can feel so self-absored or selfish – and none of us want to be seen as selfish. So too often, you suppress voicing what you need, and you suffer and suffer, until you can’t take it anymore and then either blow up, become a martyr, or get sick.

For me, this last month I was SOOOO grateful that my soul partner was alive, that the man I loved so dearly hadn’t died, so how could it be that I had moments of not wanting to support him, but wanting someone to give to me? Shouldn’t I just suck it up and push through and take everything on, even if I had nothing more to give?

I knew from past experience that if took everything on myself, I would end up sick or worse full of resentment, or worse being passive aggreessive (I really don’t like that passive aggressive tactic of trying to get what we need – it’s so harmful and really doesn’t work.)

I wanted to be able to just ASK FOR WHAT I NEEDED. No guilt. And believe that we both could be taken care of. Because that is what self-care is… making sure YOU get what you need… and I did, and I was.

But I had to first know what I needed, then I had to find the courage to ask, and then open up to receiving that support in whatever way the Divine wanted to deliver it to me (which wasn’t at all what I expected).

So self-love moment here… take a short but mighty pause…

And what is keeping you from asking for it??? Go deeper, and really be honest about WHY you believe you can’t ask for what you need.

And then… tune in to this self-love letter video…

Where I share a little more of what I experienced about WHY it’s so hard to ask for what we need AND then share with you the 3-step process I created to help you get what you need no matter what… without having to be selfish, but instead creating more love for yourself and the people and things you love.

Then dare to take a big stand for self-care and self-love for yourself by stating right here on this self love blog, what YOU NEED right NOW… and ONE ACTION you will take to make sure you get what you need no matter what, self-care!

When you can voice what you need, you are much more likely to receive what you need. Voice it here, I’ll witness it and I know you will then take action to love yourself to it.

And, if you want MORE support on growing your ability to make self-caring choices, to give up self-neglect and choose self-love instead, join us this month at THE LOVE CLUB where we are growing our branch of self love with meditations, a daily practice, love mantras and more. www.JointheLoveClub.com

Self Love Mantra Poster

shine your soul


Happy day of illumination live from Brooklyn NY!

That’s my interpretation of what this day and time that many people celebrate as Easter, that comes on the heels of Passover, just after Spring Equinox is really all about. Put aside religion for a moment, to tap into the human spiritual experience, and what you have is a time period that is ALL ABOUT THE LIGHT BECOMING BRIGHTER (and that includes YOU!)

Just as the days are becoming brighter, so do YOU have the opportunity to more fully shine your own light – stop hiding – stop procrastinating – stop fricking settling!!

Start daring to shine your light so bright that we all have to put sunglasses on!

Really, I’m not kidding. In the last four days I have done three events talking to women and some really good men – about daring to believe that who they are and what they really want to give to the world is enough. To truly believe that their self worth comes from who they are inside not what they accumulate on the outside. They don’t need more degrees, more permission, more time… and neither do you.

The time is NOW to be who you were born to be.

Born this way

I am a little pumped up, energized, if you can’t tell 🙂 … especially after my event at NYU last night where we had 3 generations of women (and 2 awesome good men!) take a stand to stop settling and to stop living by conventional wisdom and start living from the truth of their inner wisdom.

Imagine if you could finally TRUST the voice of your heart and soul to guide you. If you could value who YOU ARE, your unique gifts and then treat them like gold.

On a day that is all about illumination, I invite you to increase YOUR LIGHT… to stop pulling back/hiding/playing small/doubting/waiting… and instead dare to shine so bright the sun has to wear shades!!

I taped this video for you which includes a short but mighty process to guide you through INCREASING YOUR ABILITY TO SHINE AS YOURSELF this year.

Watch this video today – it’s only 6 minutes and you are never going to believe what happens at the end!!! The Divine was TOTALLY present when I taped this for you… watch it til the end and you’ll see what I am talking about.

And then

1. Tell me here on the blog what you have been settling for or shrinking back in
2. Share the one small but mighty step you are going to take to stop settling and shrinking back and start ILLUMINATING and SHINING YOUR SOUL!!

You are worth it!!

To join us this month for the Love Club to gets lots of love and support to shine, go to http://www.JoinTheLoveClub.com