Tag Archives: self doubt

Give Up Negative Self Talk! … Choose Supportive Self-Love Talk

What if you could give up negative self-talk? Watch this self-love divine spark for your heart

Here’s the straight self-love truth..

Just like giving up any negative toxic habit – like biting your finger nails, smoking, or eating junk food – you can CHOOSE to not be a negative self-talker.

I took the stand to give up the negative chatter 6 years ago, and it changed my entire life. It wasn’t that the self doubt, self criticism, self-induced stress disappeared completely – although it did diminish ALOT! That crazy mind buzz just no longer controlled me, derailed me, drove me to make bad choices for myself.

First, I had to make the choice. I had to get to the point in my life and in my relationship with myself where I had had ENOUGH! Where I was sick and tired of the effects the negative self-talk was having on me. Wasting my energy. Making me feel bad and like I wasn’t doing enough no matter how much I did. Pressuring me to work more, work harder, or making me feel guilty if I took a break. Leading me to sell myself out or disregard my needs in order to make another person happy. It was exhausting. And I just decided it was stupid to do this to myself. So just like I had quit smoking at the age of 30, and quit having toxic relationships at the age of 31, and quit drinking diet pop at the age of 35, I figured, why not quit negative self talk. So I did. And it stuck!

How did I give up negative self-talk?

Well to start, any time I found myself in a negative self talk situation, I would just say outloud I GAVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK… I DON’T DO THIS ANYMORE!  And I would say it out loud again and again – as if I was literally talking to myself, and I was! I was telling that inner force who wields that heavy hard hand – I call her the Inner Mean Girl, or Inner Mean Dude for boys – that I was no longer a negative self-talker. Just like I was no longer a smoker, so if someone offered me a cigarette, I could decline because I just didn’t smoke. Or I could choose ice tea at lunch instead of diet pop, because I wasn’t a diet pop drinker.

So today, I am inviting YOU to make that first step by CHOOSING TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK. To quit being a negative self-talker and to choose to be a supportive self-love talker instead!

GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK, CHOOSE SELF LOVE #BKIND2U

End Negative Self talk

 

 

Which leads us to the second part of the process of giving up negative self-talk – you need self love super power tools.

Like I said, it wasn’t that it just went away completely, so I had to develop new ways to deal with the negative banter when it came up. A simple one is the one I mentioned above… You just simply say outloud as many times as you need “I don’t do this negative self-talk thing any longer!  I am just doing it! I choose supportive self-love talk!”

Then to get the supportive self-love talk moving through your mind, here’s what you do — put your hand on your heart… close your eyes and take a breath… and ask yourself, “What are the words I need to hear right now? If I was being a best friend to myself, what would I say?” And then say those words to you, starting with your first name (you always have to start with your first name) … FIRST NAME, << the words your heart needs to hear so it can then inform your mind to settle down and be supportive and kind to you! >>.

Let’s try it here on the BLOG so you can practice – and I will super power your post with more self-love talk!

Write this
1. EXPOSE THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK – where is fear, doubt, pressure, stress, criticism showing up for you?
2. TAKE THE STAND TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK & CHOOSE SELF LOVE TALK – “I choose to give up negative self talk!” “I choose to embrace supportive self love talk!”
3. WRITE THE SELF LOVING WORDS YOU NEED TO HEAR FROM YOURSELF! I call this a ‘love stream’

 

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I will go first —

I’ve been having a little negative self talk pressuring me into some of my old achievement junkie patterns, eating up the spaciousness and harmony I need in my life.
I, Christine Arylo, CHOOSE TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK. I CHOOSE TO EMBRACE SELF LOVE TALK.
Love stream… Christine, you are doing enough! You are doing more than enough. You can have all the spaciousness you need to enjoy your life, walk on the beach, do your yoga, have fun and serve a billion people love. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself. In fact the more love you choose for yourself, the more harmony you will create and the more people you will touch.

 

*******

Okay, now your turn…. be real about where the negative chatter is showing up … take the promise to give up negative self talk… love stream out the words you need to hear from yourself! Post here on the self-love blog….

 

And then remember to use your self love super power tool – the SELF LOVE SOAK – every morning by telling yourself the words you need to fill your heart with love, to choose supportive self love talk first thing in the morning before you ever get out of bed!

>>AND JOIN US ON SELF LOVE DAY – FEB 13th – live in Los Angeles or via Livestream in your home! For the Self Love Super Power Circle –

where thousands of people will band together to give up negative self talk!  SIGN UP AT WWW.SELFLOVEDAY.COM<<

Self love day 2015 ug

your special

HOW TO RECEIVE A COMPLIMENT: Self-love is letting people love on you

3 ways to let people love on you and gush about how great you are — without feeling guilty, weird or like you need to say something nice about them too.

As I traveled the world speaking with people, especially women, I’ve noticed that women, while great at giving, really suck at receiving. Unless she has made a specific effort to become better at receiving love, support, recognition, acknowledgment, abundance, grace, and ease, she works too hard, does too much on her own, doesn’t get paid her worth, and downplays her beauty, her brilliance, her impact and her accomplishments.

And this is not serving anyone – because everytime you downplay yourself, half receive recognition, shrink back instead of lean into your beauty and brilliance, the world loses, the people you love lose, because we receive less love from you now more. Self-love is letting yourself be seen, fully.

Living like you are a bank who only gives withdrawls instead of receiving deposits leaves you spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally bankrupt. A bank couldn’t survive and thrive without receiving deposits and neither can you!

Today I invite you, I dare you to consider making it a self love practice to become a GREAT RECEIVER.

This is a life long practice – I’ve been practicing for 7 years, and every year I and my life get better because of it.

How do you become a great receiver?

You start taking in deposits! The simplest way to begin is to become really good at RECEIVING compliments – they are like small but mighty deposits of love.

 

receive love

Use this three step process + bonus step!

STEP ONE: BE AWARE OF YOUR BELIEFS & CHANGE THEM: Why is it so hard to take a compliment?

1. You’ve been taught that Good people give. Bad people take. Truth: No one wants to be called a taker. Great. So don’t be a taker. Be a “receiver.” Because here’s the truth — when someone gives you a compliment they are giving love, literally, to you. You aren’t taking anything from them.

2. You’ve been taught it’s better to give THAN receive. Truth: Giving and receiving are not mutually exclusive. The better equation where everyone wins is “It’s better to give AND receive.” Change your value equation, increase your ability to see that both are good.

STEP TWO: BE AWARE OF YOUR BAD HABITS & CHANGE THEM: What Are Your Most Common Compliment Rejection Techniques?

Are you…
1. Like Teflon – the compliment comes in and you let is slide right off of you, so it never really touches you. You say the words like you are receiving the compliment, but at best it’s a weak “Oh thank you…” and you change the subject, or start talking right away.

2. Like Rubber – the compliment comes in and you immediately say something nice about the other person. “Oh thank you and you too. You are also so … ”

3. Like a Window Shade… the compliment comes in to showcase your brilliance or beauty, and you pull the shade down and downplay it. “Oh this old thing, I got it at Target!” or “Oh, it wasn’t really that big of a deal.” or “Oh I didn’t really do anything.”

When someone gives you a compliment next time, stop, drop and RECEIVE IT… Let it land and take it in. Because here is the truth. They are literally giving you love — so when you don’t receive fully the compliment, it’s like saying “I don’t want your love.” Ouch. Receive the love, and the person giving the compliment will feel so much better. Self-love is letting people love you.

STEP 3: REALLY FEEL YOUR BEAUTY & BRILLIANCE & TAKE THIS DARING ACT OF LOVE.
This dare from the Madly in Love with ME Book will help you become really good at letting the compliments land.

 

My friend best selling author Marci Shimoff who wrote Love for No Reason says it takes 20 seconds to fully receive a compliment. Learn to open your heart to fully receive – it starts with a compliment… and that affects everything from your relationships, to your career, to your happiness.

STEP FOUR — SPECIAL INVITATION… LOVE ON YOURSELF RIGHT HERE!!! Give yourself a big dose of love by acknowledging yourself for your beauty and brilliance right here on the blog. Move past the fear of being called a bragger, and instead from a place of LOVE and ACKNOWLEDGMENT let your heart speak the truth of how beautiful and briliant you are.

I’ll start… “Christine I just had to acknowledge you for how much you have built your faith muscles in the last 10 years… how again and again you just follow spirit’s guidance, even when it seems unconventional. You always keep your promise to yourself to never settle for less than your heart and soul desires.. and that is inspiring.

Okay… I did mine – do I sound like a bragger? No because that came straight from my heart.

Now your turn… dare to choose love for yourself! Choose self-love.

Self Love Quote

How to Trust the Universe Has Your Back… even when doubt, fear and pressure shows up

I wrote this blog and video for you from Gibsons, British Columbia, after a week full of travel across the U.S. and then across borders that has caused my self-trust muscles to have to flex big time… where am I going to stay? How am I going to get there? How will this all work?

And even though I have tons of faith and lots of self-confidence, the truth is, self-doubt shot through my mind on several occasions with thoughts like “Is this really going to work out?”, old habits got activated, you know like trying to control it all, and old thought patterns went into high gear, like “I have to take care of it all or it’s going to fall apart.”

And so of course you know what started to happen, I started to see all the ways in which I wasn’t supported. The ways I had to be responsible for it all. And the stress started to make its way in.

Maybe you can relate?

When doubt surfaces, we see all the ways we aren’t supported, and we feel like it’s all on our shoulders. Which isn’t self-loving. Is totally exhausting. And really sells the Divine short.

Fortunately, you don’t have to succumb to the doubt, or feed the fear. You don’t have to take it all on your own shoulders and create stress. You have another choice…

Trust the Divine to be the orchestra leader, listen to your inner wisdom and do YOUR part (not everyone else’s), and trust that it will all be taken care of.

How do you do that?

Watch this week’s love letter and I’ll share how to trust that the universe has your back… and only do what’s yours to do.

1. SURRENDER… RELINQUISH CONTROL – stop trying to control it all yourself and give it up to God.

2. SLOW DOWN & LISTEN –– don’t run around like a crazy energizer bunny or let your mind go batty, slow down, tune in and let your inner wisdom guide you.

3. DO YOUR PART and ONLY YOUR PART
— Take action on what is yours to do and let the universe do the rest.

Noah even got in on the action – you are not going to believe what happened to us yesterday as we decided to transform doubt into Divine service… and as a result, the special gift Noah received from 25 young women (he’s blushing!!)

After you watch the video… share with me where in your life you’ve been taking it on yourself and not trusting the universe and what you are now inspired to shift… so you can trust the universe has your back.

And join me for The Love Club to strengthen your ability to trust… www.JoinTheLoveClub.com