Tag Archives: self care

Support Yourself Not Sacrifice Yourself – Give Your Inner Super Woman Some Self Compassion

This self love blog post is a permission slip for you to do the best you can, and trust it’s enough… it’s an 11 minute mSelf Compassion Mantra by Christine Aryloeditation I made with Karen Drucker that’s featured on my Self Love Meditation Album that has the super power to shift your internal experience from self-criticism and judgment to self-compassion … and take the pressure off.

Go here to listen to the Self Compassion meditation, take the pressure off, throw the stress to the side and find your way to a solution that supports you not sacrifices you. (or use the player below to tune in).

 

And then post up here on the self love blog the self love stand you are taking to release the pressure and the self compassionate act you are taking …. I’ll add some special self love super power to your post to support you.

I’ll show you how I did this for myself.

1. First, be honest about where in your life you feel the pressure to do more, have it all done, do it all yourself, or squeeze more in?

Christine Arylo Invicible Super Woman

The Invincible Super Woman Inner Mean Girl makes an appearance!

For me, I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure leading up to the book release of my new book Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 steps to Stop Bullying Yourself and Start Loving Yourself. For the six weeks leading up to the book release and book launch party, I navigated it all pretty well (thanks to daily yoga and a great support team). But after the book launch party, I had a serious attack by my “Invincible Super Woman” Inner Mean Girl who almost sent me into a complete meltdown this weekend. (That’s me acting her out at our workshop… little did I know she’d be coming for a personal visit!!!)

The Invincible Super Woman Inner Mean Girl is the one who makes you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and you have to do it all yourself. She’s the one who makes you feel like you have to do it all, right now, perfectly. And when you follow her guidance, you end up exhausted, resentful and feeling unsupported.

Sound familiar?

So how was she bullying me, and how might she be bullying you? On Friday, the day before the new moon, after five weeks of intense work to release the new book, after throwing a major event for the book launch party, after traveling, coming home to mentor four women, lead an intense full day divine feminine workshop, spend two days taping the audio version of the new book and prepare for two-days of intensive yoga teacher training on Saturday and Sunday, I was feeling IMMENSE PRESSURE to get this divine spark and self love blog to you – because my promise is to send you a divine spark on the new moon and full moon (the new moon was Saturday).

This IMG was bullying me by telling me I had to do the letter by Saturday, and I had to make you a video, and she was all over me for not being able to get it all done (she did not care that what I needed was a nap, a bath and some space for me, or that I was about to do 24 hours of yoga in 2 days).

2. Second, you have to make the choice to release the stress. And be honest, would you like a remedy for all that stress? If yes, make the choice by stating….

I choose to release the pressure to …  I choose to trust that..

For me it was releasing the pressure to get this blog and divine spark done by the new moon by trusting that if the space wasn’t there, there would be a better space to do so.

I choose the self-compassionate act to….

3. Third, choose the self-compassionate choice.

Choose to make your choices from self compassion instead of self imposed deadlines #BeKind2U (Shareable)

For me, after my Inner Wisdom got  me to my yoga mat where I did an 11-minute meditation (I often take my IMGs to my mat where they are rendered powerless!) I could  hear the loving self compassionate truth, “Just do the best you can, and trust it’s enough.” And that meant, releasing the need to get this to you by the weekend. And instead to wait until Monday, after my yoga training, sleeping in, a fabulous breakfast with Noah my guy, coming to my favorite Venice Beach coffee shop, sipping a latte and writing this to you. So much more compassionate and me so much happier!

Now your turn…post your self compassion stand

  1. I choose to release the pressure to…
  2. I choose to trust that…
  3. I choose the self compassionate act to…

Here’s mine… I choose to release the pressure to get this blog posted and to you by the new moon Saturday.
I trust that there will be a better time and space for you to receive this and for me to create this.
I choose the self compassionate act to release any and all feelings of obligation and instead to on Monday when I do have space, write you this from my happy heart!

Post your self compassion stand here…. I will reply with a witness and super power self love prayer! Sending you support to give yourself the SPACE you need to be supported, be sustained and feel successful without all the pressure.

And..If you haven’t gotten your copy of the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book to start transforming your Inner Mean Girls – go here. www.InnerMeanGirlBook.com (you will also get a special Inner Wisdom Kit with a download of the self compassion meditation you can put on your itunes or electronic devices to listen to any time!)

Inner Mean Girl Book

To get a copy of the full self love meditation CD with 11 tracks for each of the branches of self-love, including self-care, self-trust, self-esteem and more – go here.

You have done enough

Are You Pushing Yourself Too Hard?

Where you pushing yourself too hard… and creating unhappiness for yourself? Watch the video and reset your expectations – what would be enough??

You have a goal. Something important to you. Something you said yes to creating, doing, achieving because you believed it would make you happy. And so you go on your way to making that goal a reality, and then something shifts. You realize consciously or maybe not consciously that to reach said goal, you are going to have to push yourself to make it. Work hard. Cancel dates. Put pressure on yourself. And the thing you were doing to make you happy is now making you unhappy.

I’ve been doing this all week with my upcoming book about reforming Inner Mean Girls – pushing myself to get it all done in the next four days even though it’s not due for 6 more weeks. Uh, I think my Inner Mean Girl has been hanging on the couch with me!!

The truth is that while there are moments we need to push hard, those should be few and far between.

Your main way of operating your life should NOT be pushing yourself so hard.

Not if you are working in alignment with what is truly best for you, and what the divine had in store for you.

Why does it happen then? You make up these mental pictures or thoughts in your mind about what you should be able to do, and how fast you should be able to do it. And then push hard to get there. But what if… instead of pushing hard and driving yourself to what you think you should be able to do, you stopped, reassessed and did ENOUGH.

No more. No less. Just enough.

My friend Sam Bennett, who wrote this great book called GET IT DONE – without having to exhaust yourself to do it! – calls this going for the “C” instead of the A++ — which my achiever has a really hard time with. But my Inner Wisdom knows is spot on.

To make this work for me, I apply self love and my mantra I AM ENOUGH by asking myself the powerful question,”What would enough look like?” And then I give myself permission to do that. I can’t do the C but I can do ENOUGH!

Today I share it with you so you can stop pushing yourself so hard! And reclaim your happiness around the thing you decided to do to make happiness!!

Watch the video and then here on the blog, ask yourself the question, “WHAT WOULD ENOUGH LOOK LIKE?” and then take your self-love enoughness stand
1. I am pushing myself too hard to…
2. Enough would look like…
3. I give myself permission to …
4. And then claim it THAT IS ENOUGH!!

I’ll go first:
I am pushing myself too hard to finish all 9 chapters of my book in the next four days, even though the manuscript isn’t due for 6 more weeks. Enough would look like me having 6 chapters done really well and tight so I don’t have to go back to them. I give myself permission to only complete 6 chapters before I leave my writing retreat, trusting that all will be done in divine timing. THAT IS ENOUGH!

Now your turn! Post here on the blog…

And remember you are invited to join me to really take make this a YEAR OF ENOUGHNESS — to break habits that keep you from the compassion, care, pleasure, all that good self love. You can join me at the Love Club for a year of self-love! Check it out, www.JoinTheLoveClub.com

you are enough

Please Stop Stressing Yourself Out! Find the pressure point you’re holding on yourself

Watch this video to find the ONE BIG GNARLY PRESSURE POINT you are holding on yourself, and then follow me through a process to release it. Then share your stand with me on the blog

Two days ago, sitting on a couch talking to one of my soul sisters, Christine Hassler, about this crazy pressure I was feeling even though I was sitting in one of the most serene beautiful places on earth 100 feet from the sea, I had a HUGE epiphany about what is causing you, me and every woman (and man) I know un-needed stress.

Stress that you literally have the ability to alleviate if you know where to look, how to find the pressure point causing you unnecessary pain, running that judgmental voice in your head who loves to push you and pressure you with words like…

“You should be doing more…”

“Why aren’t you…”

These two phrases alone I am sure are behind the wrinkles,the extra weight, the facts that 1 in 4 women will die of heart disease, twice as many women than men are on anti-depressants, or the reality that most of us feel overwhelmed and exhausted a lot of the time.

So in honor of the international day of women this month, I am saying ENOUGH to this I am not enough b.s. … I am saying NO to Not-Enoughness and declaring 2014 as the Year of ENOUGHNESS.

Wanna join me?

mantra self love enough

Declare here, right now that You are enough. That you’ve done enough. That you don’t have to pressure yourself to do more? That there are other, more self-loving ways, to motivate yourself?

Good! Now that we have that cleared up, What do you do???

Well you start by watching this week’s love letter… I will run you through the short but mighty process I used to identify the big gnarly pressure point causing undue stress on me, and show you how to find your gnarly unnecessary pressure point and release it.

Then, here on the blog, release the pressure point by 1. Saying how you are putting this pressure on yourself. 2. Telling the truth AND then 3. Take a stand for being and doing enough right now (in caps!) I will witness you, as if you are right here with me on the couch – making this a year of ENOUGHNESS!

Here I will go first.

I am putting pressure on myself to be out in the world speaking right now. The truth is that I am exactly where I need to be, writing at the sea and talking to people through the internet and phone right now. I AM DOING ENOUGH RIGHT NOW. I AM ENOUGH.

Okay your turn…

I am putting pressure on myself to…
The truth is…
I AM DOING ENOUGH RIGHT NOW. I AM ENOUGH.

Whoo hoo!! Can’t wait to high five you and your post.

And remember, if you want more support on sticking to this, and you still haven’t joined The Love Club, you can still join for the entire year at the special year rate but only through the end of March. www.JointheLoveClub.com xoxox

self love quote

Self-Love Blog: How to Avoid Overwork & Overwhelm When You Are So Busy

Watch this self-love video and use my 2 super power self love tools for keeping sane and healthy (emotionally, physically and spiritually) during times of high stress and workload.

This last week I have been in an intense work period. I am finishing a book proposal for my next book (all about the INNER Mean Girl) and finalizing a really awesome home study program for anyone ready to reform their inner mean girls.

It’s great stuff – and I LOVE the work, and there has been ALOT to do.

It’s been one of those times where many things need to happen at once, with tight deadlines. And because of the amount of to do in a short amount of time, it would be REALLY easy for me to slip into my old bad habit of overwork… leading to overwhelm… leading to OVER IT!

inner mean girlPerhaps like me you have an Achievement Junkie inner mean girl who drives you to exhaustion to reach crazy goals… or a Doing Addict who never lets you rest… or a Good Girl who will is afraid to say No… or a Perfectionist who has to get the A++ so she makes you spend way more effort and time than really necessary.

All of these Inner Mean Girls are BAD NEWS when it comes to your peace of mind, happiness and health during times when there is a lot of work to get done.

 

What I want to share with you is a truth that i think alot of us pretend isn’t real:

There are times in your life when you are going to have to put alot of energy into your work – whether that be a project, an event, a family member, whatever your work is because that work really matters to you, and because there really is a time period it must be completed in.

The goal is not to try to live into some fantasy of a life where you never have times of intense work — birthing things, creating things and caring for things is intense. AND, this is important, intense periods of work should NOT be the norm and during these high stress times you MUST MUST MUST still create SPACE for yourself or the stress will eat you up

Today on my vlog I shared two of my most powerful self love super power tools – one related to the self love branch of self-pleasure and one that helps you grow your self-care.

The self-care super powered tool is based on the Feminine Super Power of CREATING SPACE — I dare you to put it into practice by claiming ONE day, ONE half day, one ONE night per week that is your SACRED SPACE and fill up emotionally and spiritually, and as a result physically. One trick I use to make this stick for me is I gave it a name, put in on my calendar as a repeating event, and then letting everyone in my life know about it. The other is to take a self-love promise that will help you keep this date with yourself no matter what.

So claim, name and share your sacred space time here — I’ll witness you and you’ll be more likely to keep the date! And/or add the self love promise you will take to make sure not matter how much work there is to do, you get taken care of.


ME: Temple Time… begins Thursday night at 7pm … goes until Friday sunrise. its me and the divine. Computer off. Business closed. My promise “No matter how much work there is to do, I create space for FUN!

Now your turn…

For more on how to reform your Inner Mean Girls, go to www.InnerMeanGirl.com