Tag Archives: love yourself

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How to Love Yourself when Your Feelings Get Hurt

We all get our feelings hurt – what do you when that happens so that you don’t create more hurt, but instead a great healing for yourself?

Did you ever notice that some of the people that you are closest to can hurt your feelings the most?

And most of those people – if you’ve done a good job of cleaning up your Love Rings and taking a serious stand for self-respect – don’t mean to hurt your feelings.

But when that sensitive heart gets hurt – behind all that tough armor and protective walls – it doesn’t seem to matter whether they meant to hurt you or not.

So you lash out… whimper in silence… go passive aggressive… make up stories in your mind… distance yourself… all kinds of activities that lead you FARTHER FROM LOVE and FARTHER INTO FEAR.

Watch this self-love episode, hear what I do when my feelings get hurt and then try this self-love 3-step practice the next time your feelings get hurt so you can give yourself a super powered love healing!

Making sure you get the love you need is self love. Use these three branches of self-love to heal the hurt and make more love out of the situation.

Step 1: SELF-AWARENESS – See the truth and own your stuff.
Ask yourself, “What is this situation triggering inside of me?” Take the other person out of the equation and really look at what this is telling you about you. Be honest. You have to own your stuff, and take responsibility for your love cracks. Even if you weren’t the one who created them, it’s your job to make sure you know them and heal them. Self-awareness and self-honesty is self-love.

Step 2: SELF-CARE – Take the charge out by giving yourself what you need. Ask yourself, What do I need to feel loved right now? And how can I give this to myself? Then give that to yourself. You have the power to give yourself what you need. And if you take responsibility for healing your love crack, it will be way more easier to tell the other person how their actions affected you without created more hurt, charge and disconnection.

Step 3: SELF EXPRESSION – Express to the person how their actions affected you without blaming them. Say to them “My feelings were really hurt when you said XXXX. I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, and I am OK. And what would be really helpful for me in the future is XXXXX.” Notice that you aren’t saying “YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!” which will just make the other person defensive. You are taking an act of self love by healing your love cracks and also by asking what you need from the other person.

DOUBLE DARE…POST HERE YOUR SELF LOVE SUCCESS STORIES — what has worked for you when your feelings have been hurt, that has led to more love?

your special

HOW TO RECEIVE A COMPLIMENT: Self-love is letting people love on you

3 ways to let people love on you and gush about how great you are — without feeling guilty, weird or like you need to say something nice about them too.

As I traveled the world speaking with people, especially women, I’ve noticed that women, while great at giving, really suck at receiving. Unless she has made a specific effort to become better at receiving love, support, recognition, acknowledgment, abundance, grace, and ease, she works too hard, does too much on her own, doesn’t get paid her worth, and downplays her beauty, her brilliance, her impact and her accomplishments.

And this is not serving anyone – because everytime you downplay yourself, half receive recognition, shrink back instead of lean into your beauty and brilliance, the world loses, the people you love lose, because we receive less love from you now more. Self-love is letting yourself be seen, fully.

Living like you are a bank who only gives withdrawls instead of receiving deposits leaves you spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally bankrupt. A bank couldn’t survive and thrive without receiving deposits and neither can you!

Today I invite you, I dare you to consider making it a self love practice to become a GREAT RECEIVER.

This is a life long practice – I’ve been practicing for 7 years, and every year I and my life get better because of it.

How do you become a great receiver?

You start taking in deposits! The simplest way to begin is to become really good at RECEIVING compliments – they are like small but mighty deposits of love.

 

receive love

Use this three step process + bonus step!

STEP ONE: BE AWARE OF YOUR BELIEFS & CHANGE THEM: Why is it so hard to take a compliment?

1. You’ve been taught that Good people give. Bad people take. Truth: No one wants to be called a taker. Great. So don’t be a taker. Be a “receiver.” Because here’s the truth — when someone gives you a compliment they are giving love, literally, to you. You aren’t taking anything from them.

2. You’ve been taught it’s better to give THAN receive. Truth: Giving and receiving are not mutually exclusive. The better equation where everyone wins is “It’s better to give AND receive.” Change your value equation, increase your ability to see that both are good.

STEP TWO: BE AWARE OF YOUR BAD HABITS & CHANGE THEM: What Are Your Most Common Compliment Rejection Techniques?

Are you…
1. Like Teflon – the compliment comes in and you let is slide right off of you, so it never really touches you. You say the words like you are receiving the compliment, but at best it’s a weak “Oh thank you…” and you change the subject, or start talking right away.

2. Like Rubber – the compliment comes in and you immediately say something nice about the other person. “Oh thank you and you too. You are also so … ”

3. Like a Window Shade… the compliment comes in to showcase your brilliance or beauty, and you pull the shade down and downplay it. “Oh this old thing, I got it at Target!” or “Oh, it wasn’t really that big of a deal.” or “Oh I didn’t really do anything.”

When someone gives you a compliment next time, stop, drop and RECEIVE IT… Let it land and take it in. Because here is the truth. They are literally giving you love — so when you don’t receive fully the compliment, it’s like saying “I don’t want your love.” Ouch. Receive the love, and the person giving the compliment will feel so much better. Self-love is letting people love you.

STEP 3: REALLY FEEL YOUR BEAUTY & BRILLIANCE & TAKE THIS DARING ACT OF LOVE.
This dare from the Madly in Love with ME Book will help you become really good at letting the compliments land.

 

My friend best selling author Marci Shimoff who wrote Love for No Reason says it takes 20 seconds to fully receive a compliment. Learn to open your heart to fully receive – it starts with a compliment… and that affects everything from your relationships, to your career, to your happiness.

STEP FOUR — SPECIAL INVITATION… LOVE ON YOURSELF RIGHT HERE!!! Give yourself a big dose of love by acknowledging yourself for your beauty and brilliance right here on the blog. Move past the fear of being called a bragger, and instead from a place of LOVE and ACKNOWLEDGMENT let your heart speak the truth of how beautiful and briliant you are.

I’ll start… “Christine I just had to acknowledge you for how much you have built your faith muscles in the last 10 years… how again and again you just follow spirit’s guidance, even when it seems unconventional. You always keep your promise to yourself to never settle for less than your heart and soul desires.. and that is inspiring.

Okay… I did mine – do I sound like a bragger? No because that came straight from my heart.

Now your turn… dare to choose love for yourself! Choose self-love.