Tag Archives: how do i love myself

self care

Self Love Blog: How to Ask For What You Need Without Feeling Guilty or Like a Jerk

How do you get what you need when you also are taking care of others and what they need?


Watch this self-love letter and find out how.

When we are over-focused on taking care of others who need our support or when we are afraid of what people’s reactions will be if we ask for support too… it can be REALLY hard to ask for what YOU need…

And if you don’t ask for what you need, you don’t get what you need. And if you don’t get what you need, you suffer.

In your life, there are likely lots of people who rely on you – and many of these people and projects you love to serve and support. And yet, sometimes, let’s be honest, you can feel like, “What about me? What about what I need? Who is taking care of me?”

Just uttering or thinking those words can feel so self-absored or selfish – and none of us want to be seen as selfish. So too often, you suppress voicing what you need, and you suffer and suffer, until you can’t take it anymore and then either blow up, become a martyr, or get sick.

For me, this last month I was SOOOO grateful that my soul partner was alive, that the man I loved so dearly hadn’t died, so how could it be that I had moments of not wanting to support him, but wanting someone to give to me? Shouldn’t I just suck it up and push through and take everything on, even if I had nothing more to give?

I knew from past experience that if took everything on myself, I would end up sick or worse full of resentment, or worse being passive aggreessive (I really don’t like that passive aggressive tactic of trying to get what we need – it’s so harmful and really doesn’t work.)

I wanted to be able to just ASK FOR WHAT I NEEDED. No guilt. And believe that we both could be taken care of. Because that is what self-care is… making sure YOU get what you need… and I did, and I was.

But I had to first know what I needed, then I had to find the courage to ask, and then open up to receiving that support in whatever way the Divine wanted to deliver it to me (which wasn’t at all what I expected).

So self-love moment here… take a short but mighty pause…
WHAT DO YOU NEED THAT YOU AREN’T ASKING FOR??

And what is keeping you from asking for it??? Go deeper, and really be honest about WHY you believe you can’t ask for what you need.

And then… tune in to this self-love letter video…

Where I share a little more of what I experienced about WHY it’s so hard to ask for what we need AND then share with you the 3-step process I created to help you get what you need no matter what… without having to be selfish, but instead creating more love for yourself and the people and things you love.

Then dare to take a big stand for self-care and self-love for yourself by stating right here on this self love blog, what YOU NEED right NOW… and ONE ACTION you will take to make sure you get what you need no matter what, self-care!

When you can voice what you need, you are much more likely to receive what you need. Voice it here, I’ll witness it and I know you will then take action to love yourself to it.

And, if you want MORE support on growing your ability to make self-caring choices, to give up self-neglect and choose self-love instead, join us this month at THE LOVE CLUB where we are growing our branch of self love with meditations, a daily practice, love mantras and more. www.JointheLoveClub.com

Self Love Mantra Poster

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Stop Comparing Yourself To Others – Self-love super power practice

As I was writing my new self-love book on that super duper destructive force known as the Inner Mean Girl, or Inner Mean Dude, this week, I got SUPER inspired to write you a self love letter and make you a video about one of the most toxic, non-self loving habits we have as humans…

COMPARISON!

I’ve been watching people all around me, fabulous people, comparing themselves to other people, or who they think they should be, and then feeling like crap about themselves… and then making choices that don’t honor themselves.

And it makes me so sad every time I see a person reject themselves…

Because when you compare your body, bank account, business, relationship status, whatever, to others (or some crazy expectation), the truth is, you reject yourself… and it doesn’t take a brain scientist to prove that rejecting yourself is no good.

Comparing yourself to others will slow you down, steal your joy, and rob you of the life you are trying to create for yourself … and c’mon you just don’t have time to tolerate that anymore, especially given it’s the summer of love ☺

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And I get it… I used to compare myself A LOT. I think most of us do. We just don’t talk about it, or stop it. So the cycle continues.

Which is why today, I invite you to stop this crazy insane habit of comparison using the self love super power process and self acceptance perspective I provide in the video.

Because really, you are too beautiful, too special, too lovable to commit such an act on yourself. Being you is awesome, when you love yourself enough to believe it.

So take this daring act of self love

  1. Watch the video and make the choice to GIVE UP THE HABIT OF COMPARISON (just like you’d give up smoking or eating food that is bad for you.)
  2. Take the self-love antidote of turning comparison into self-love through inspiration that I share with you and use it in your life everytime you find yourself craving to compare
  3. Here on this Blog, right now, take a RADICAL ACT OF SELF ACCEPTANCE and say specifically WHAT you will stop comparing yourself about.

Here’s a few heart self-love starters

I PROMISE TO STOP COMPARING THE SIZE OF MY THIGHS TO OTHER PEOPLE’S LEGS.

I PROMISE TO STOP COMPARING THE SIZE OF MY FACEBOOK FAN PAGE TO OTHER PEOPLES’ FAN PAGES.

I PROMISE TO STOP COMPARING HOW I AM DOING IN MY LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
And then for good self love mojo, you can say this self acceptance Love Mantra outloud or write it here on the blog.

I LOVE WHO I AM EXACTLY AS I AM. I AM MYSELF. AND THAT IS ENOUGH.

 

You can learn more about Inner Mean Girl Reform School at www.innermeangirl.com and get a free transformation starter kit too!

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How To Love Yourself When Self-Love is Hard: Become Wealthy in Love. Summer of Self-Love


This is your very own personal video to open up YOUR CHANNEL TO GIVING YOURSELF MORE SELF LOVE!

Yes, how can you, will you love yourself, CHOOSE SELF-LOVE, in the moments when it’s hard.

No duh, that it’s a good idea to love yourself, but how do you do it when love is hard to find? We share 3 big misunderstandings in this video about self-love that will create more space for love to come in. And then we give you super power self-love tools to use in your life. In fact, we dare you to use this video to create your own Love Mantra – we’ll show you how – and then post it here – and watch your Love Wealth begin to soar as you take making love for yourself into your own hands!

After you watch the self-love video:

  1. Share the truth about WHEN IT’S HARD FOR YOU TO LOVE YOURSELF or WHAT HAS BEEN HARD TO LOVE.
  2. MAKE A LOVE MANTRA – Close your eyes, take a breath, put your hand on your heart and ask yourself — If I was being my own best friend, what would I tell myself about this? This is your LOVE MANTRA… Here is one of mine.

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NOW YOUR TURN…

WRITE & POST YOUR LOVE MANTRA HERE SO WE CAN ALL WITNESS IT and MAKE MORE LOVE FOR OURSELVES!

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How to Love Yourself when Your Feelings Get Hurt

We all get our feelings hurt – what do you when that happens so that you don’t create more hurt, but instead a great healing for yourself?

Did you ever notice that some of the people that you are closest to can hurt your feelings the most?

And most of those people – if you’ve done a good job of cleaning up your Love Rings and taking a serious stand for self-respect – don’t mean to hurt your feelings.

But when that sensitive heart gets hurt – behind all that tough armor and protective walls – it doesn’t seem to matter whether they meant to hurt you or not.

So you lash out… whimper in silence… go passive aggressive… make up stories in your mind… distance yourself… all kinds of activities that lead you FARTHER FROM LOVE and FARTHER INTO FEAR.

Watch this self-love episode, hear what I do when my feelings get hurt and then try this self-love 3-step practice the next time your feelings get hurt so you can give yourself a super powered love healing!

Making sure you get the love you need is self love. Use these three branches of self-love to heal the hurt and make more love out of the situation.

Step 1: SELF-AWARENESS – See the truth and own your stuff.
Ask yourself, “What is this situation triggering inside of me?” Take the other person out of the equation and really look at what this is telling you about you. Be honest. You have to own your stuff, and take responsibility for your love cracks. Even if you weren’t the one who created them, it’s your job to make sure you know them and heal them. Self-awareness and self-honesty is self-love.

Step 2: SELF-CARE – Take the charge out by giving yourself what you need. Ask yourself, What do I need to feel loved right now? And how can I give this to myself? Then give that to yourself. You have the power to give yourself what you need. And if you take responsibility for healing your love crack, it will be way more easier to tell the other person how their actions affected you without created more hurt, charge and disconnection.

Step 3: SELF EXPRESSION – Express to the person how their actions affected you without blaming them. Say to them “My feelings were really hurt when you said XXXX. I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, and I am OK. And what would be really helpful for me in the future is XXXXX.” Notice that you aren’t saying “YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!” which will just make the other person defensive. You are taking an act of self love by healing your love cracks and also by asking what you need from the other person.

DOUBLE DARE…POST HERE YOUR SELF LOVE SUCCESS STORIES — what has worked for you when your feelings have been hurt, that has led to more love?