Support Yourself Not Sacrifice Yourself – Give Your Inner Super Woman Some Self Compassion

This self love blog post is a permission slip for you to do the best you can, and trust it’s enough… it’s an 11 minute mSelf Compassion Mantra by Christine Aryloeditation I made with Karen Drucker that’s featured on my Self Love Meditation Album that has the super power to shift your internal experience from self-criticism and judgment to self-compassion … and take the pressure off.

Go here to listen to the Self Compassion meditation, take the pressure off, throw the stress to the side and find your way to a solution that supports you not sacrifices you. (or use the player below to tune in).

 

And then post up here on the self love blog the self love stand you are taking to release the pressure and the self compassionate act you are taking …. I’ll add some special self love super power to your post to support you.

I’ll show you how I did this for myself.

1. First, be honest about where in your life you feel the pressure to do more, have it all done, do it all yourself, or squeeze more in?

Christine Arylo Invicible Super Woman

The Invincible Super Woman Inner Mean Girl makes an appearance!

For me, I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure leading up to the book release of my new book Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 steps to Stop Bullying Yourself and Start Loving Yourself. For the six weeks leading up to the book release and book launch party, I navigated it all pretty well (thanks to daily yoga and a great support team). But after the book launch party, I had a serious attack by my “Invincible Super Woman” Inner Mean Girl who almost sent me into a complete meltdown this weekend. (That’s me acting her out at our workshop… little did I know she’d be coming for a personal visit!!!)

The Invincible Super Woman Inner Mean Girl is the one who makes you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and you have to do it all yourself. She’s the one who makes you feel like you have to do it all, right now, perfectly. And when you follow her guidance, you end up exhausted, resentful and feeling unsupported.

Sound familiar?

So how was she bullying me, and how might she be bullying you? On Friday, the day before the new moon, after five weeks of intense work to release the new book, after throwing a major event for the book launch party, after traveling, coming home to mentor four women, lead an intense full day divine feminine workshop, spend two days taping the audio version of the new book and prepare for two-days of intensive yoga teacher training on Saturday and Sunday, I was feeling IMMENSE PRESSURE to get this divine spark and self love blog to you – because my promise is to send you a divine spark on the new moon and full moon (the new moon was Saturday).

This IMG was bullying me by telling me I had to do the letter by Saturday, and I had to make you a video, and she was all over me for not being able to get it all done (she did not care that what I needed was a nap, a bath and some space for me, or that I was about to do 24 hours of yoga in 2 days).

2. Second, you have to make the choice to release the stress. And be honest, would you like a remedy for all that stress? If yes, make the choice by stating….

I choose to release the pressure to …  I choose to trust that..

For me it was releasing the pressure to get this blog and divine spark done by the new moon by trusting that if the space wasn’t there, there would be a better space to do so.

I choose the self-compassionate act to….

3. Third, choose the self-compassionate choice.

Choose to make your choices from self compassion instead of self imposed deadlines #BeKind2U (Shareable)

For me, after my Inner Wisdom got  me to my yoga mat where I did an 11-minute meditation (I often take my IMGs to my mat where they are rendered powerless!) I could  hear the loving self compassionate truth, “Just do the best you can, and trust it’s enough.” And that meant, releasing the need to get this to you by the weekend. And instead to wait until Monday, after my yoga training, sleeping in, a fabulous breakfast with Noah my guy, coming to my favorite Venice Beach coffee shop, sipping a latte and writing this to you. So much more compassionate and me so much happier!

Now your turn…post your self compassion stand

  1. I choose to release the pressure to…
  2. I choose to trust that…
  3. I choose the self compassionate act to…

Here’s mine… I choose to release the pressure to get this blog posted and to you by the new moon Saturday.
I trust that there will be a better time and space for you to receive this and for me to create this.
I choose the self compassionate act to release any and all feelings of obligation and instead to on Monday when I do have space, write you this from my happy heart!

Post your self compassion stand here…. I will reply with a witness and super power self love prayer! Sending you support to give yourself the SPACE you need to be supported, be sustained and feel successful without all the pressure.

And..If you haven’t gotten your copy of the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book to start transforming your Inner Mean Girls – go here. www.InnerMeanGirlBook.com (you will also get a special Inner Wisdom Kit with a download of the self compassion meditation you can put on your itunes or electronic devices to listen to any time!)

Inner Mean Girl Book

To get a copy of the full self love meditation CD with 11 tracks for each of the branches of self-love, including self-care, self-trust, self-esteem and more - go here.

Self Love Signs: How to tell if you love yourself and if you don’t.

Watch the video and learn the 6 signs you have, or don’t have, self-love. Then make a promise to focus on the places you need love the most, from yourself.

After researching and experimenting to find the answer to “How do i love myself? And how do i know if I am doing it or not?” I’ve found there are 6 key signs – “self-love signs” – that will show you the ways in which you are, and the ways that you are not.

As I’ve shared these self love signs with people around the world, what I continued to hear was, “Wow, I didn’t even know that was a result of lacking self-love.”

Yep, most of us don’t even know what the signs are that we need more love from ourselves, so you can’t diagnose or more importantly treat yourself with the medicine you need … until now.

The 6 signs that you are loving yourself … or not.

Are you:

  1. Settling in your life in any way for less than your heart and soul desire? Playing small. Letting fear stop you. Sacrificing your dreams. Procrastinating. Listening to conventional wisdom instead of going for the life your heart and soul are craving. PROMISE YOU NEED: I never settle for less than my heart and soul desire.
  2. In relationships that don’t support you or fully honor you? You have relationships that drain you or degrade you, dishonor you in anyway. Hold on to friends, lovers, clients that arent supporting you to grow or be your best self?  Lacking the kinds of friendships or the number of soul family you have around you?  PROMISE YOU NEED: I only have loving respectful relationships.
  3. Being hard on yourself.  You criticize instead of appreciate yourself. Put pressure on yourself.   PROMISE YOU NEED:  I am gentle, kind and compassionate with myself, always.
  4. Treating your body poorly – Neglecting it. Treating it like a workhorse or slave. Being mean to it. Hating on it. Instead of adoring it. Treating it like a temple. Even with wrinkles and cellulite.  PROMISE YOU NEED:  I treat my body like a sacred temple.
  5. Over giving to others, not taking care of yourself, cuz you are taking care of everyone and everything else?  You know it. Enough said. PROMISE YOU NEED: I take care of myself first, without guilt.
  6. Sacrificing what you really desire, because you are afraid of letting others down?  PROMISE YOU NEED: I stay true to myself even if that means disappointing another.

Mantra Promise to Fall in love

Okay, now it’s your turn to choose one area of self-love and take ONE promise that will help you give yourself the love you most need this year. Write the PROMISE down here as an act of taking it and committing to it. And then share with me one small but mighty act you will take to keep this promise this week.

I’ll go first…  I promise to take care of myself without guilt!  This week I will take Monday morning before noon for myself to really care for ME after teaching this retreat all weekend. (ohhh can’t wait!!!)

Now your turn… post here.

And then remember to join us for a year of love - www.JointheLoveClub.com  —  I’d love to support you to choose love for yourself.

 

Imagine a World of Self Love

Watch this video – and imagine a world in which you – and every woman, man and child you knew, loved themselves.


And join us for the Self Love Day Super Power Circle and take a stand to give up negative self talk this year… and choose self-love talk! Take a stand to give yourself the love you need, no matter what.   Go here to RSVP for the livestream or get the recording later.   www.SelfLoveDay.com

 

Give Up Negative Self Talk! … Choose Supportive Self-Love Talk

What if you could give up negative self-talk? Watch this self-love divine spark for your heart

Here’s the straight self-love truth..

Just like giving up any negative toxic habit – like biting your finger nails, smoking, or eating junk food – you can CHOOSE to not be a negative self-talker.

I took the stand to give up the negative chatter 6 years ago, and it changed my entire life. It wasn’t that the self doubt, self criticism, self-induced stress disappeared completely – although it did diminish ALOT! That crazy mind buzz just no longer controlled me, derailed me, drove me to make bad choices for myself.

First, I had to make the choice. I had to get to the point in my life and in my relationship with myself where I had had ENOUGH! Where I was sick and tired of the effects the negative self-talk was having on me. Wasting my energy. Making me feel bad and like I wasn’t doing enough no matter how much I did. Pressuring me to work more, work harder, or making me feel guilty if I took a break. Leading me to sell myself out or disregard my needs in order to make another person happy. It was exhausting. And I just decided it was stupid to do this to myself. So just like I had quit smoking at the age of 30, and quit having toxic relationships at the age of 31, and quit drinking diet pop at the age of 35, I figured, why not quit negative self talk. So I did. And it stuck!

How did I give up negative self-talk?

Well to start, any time I found myself in a negative self talk situation, I would just say outloud I GAVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK… I DON’T DO THIS ANYMORE!  And I would say it out loud again and again – as if I was literally talking to myself, and I was! I was telling that inner force who wields that heavy hard hand – I call her the Inner Mean Girl, or Inner Mean Dude for boys – that I was no longer a negative self-talker. Just like I was no longer a smoker, so if someone offered me a cigarette, I could decline because I just didn’t smoke. Or I could choose ice tea at lunch instead of diet pop, because I wasn’t a diet pop drinker.

So today, I am inviting YOU to make that first step by CHOOSING TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK. To quit being a negative self-talker and to choose to be a supportive self-love talker instead!

GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK, CHOOSE SELF LOVE #BKIND2U

End Negative Self talk

 

 

Which leads us to the second part of the process of giving up negative self-talk – you need self love super power tools.

Like I said, it wasn’t that it just went away completely, so I had to develop new ways to deal with the negative banter when it came up. A simple one is the one I mentioned above… You just simply say outloud as many times as you need “I don’t do this negative self-talk thing any longer!  I am just doing it! I choose supportive self-love talk!”

Then to get the supportive self-love talk moving through your mind, here’s what you do — put your hand on your heart… close your eyes and take a breath… and ask yourself, “What are the words I need to hear right now? If I was being a best friend to myself, what would I say?” And then say those words to you, starting with your first name (you always have to start with your first name) … FIRST NAME, << the words your heart needs to hear so it can then inform your mind to settle down and be supportive and kind to you! >>.

Let’s try it here on the BLOG so you can practice – and I will super power your post with more self-love talk!

Write this
1. EXPOSE THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK – where is fear, doubt, pressure, stress, criticism showing up for you?
2. TAKE THE STAND TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK & CHOOSE SELF LOVE TALK – “I choose to give up negative self talk!” “I choose to embrace supportive self love talk!”
3. WRITE THE SELF LOVING WORDS YOU NEED TO HEAR FROM YOURSELF! I call this a ‘love stream’

 

*********

I will go first –

I’ve been having a little negative self talk pressuring me into some of my old achievement junkie patterns, eating up the spaciousness and harmony I need in my life.
I, Christine Arylo, CHOOSE TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK. I CHOOSE TO EMBRACE SELF LOVE TALK.
Love stream… Christine, you are doing enough! You are doing more than enough. You can have all the spaciousness you need to enjoy your life, walk on the beach, do your yoga, have fun and serve a billion people love. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself. In fact the more love you choose for yourself, the more harmony you will create and the more people you will touch.

 

*******

Okay, now your turn…. be real about where the negative chatter is showing up … take the promise to give up negative self talk… love stream out the words you need to hear from yourself! Post here on the self-love blog….

 

And then remember to use your self love super power tool – the SELF LOVE SOAK – every morning by telling yourself the words you need to fill your heart with love, to choose supportive self love talk first thing in the morning before you ever get out of bed!

>>AND JOIN US ON SELF LOVE DAY – FEB 13th – live in Los Angeles or via Livestream in your home! For the Self Love Super Power Circle -

where thousands of people will band together to give up negative self talk!  SIGN UP AT WWW.SELFLOVEDAY.COM<<

Self love day 2015 ug