soul food

Self Love Blog: How To Stop Being So Crabby… Eat Some Soul Food.

Watch this video and take the self-love pulse check to see what’s making you feel crabby, cranky, controlling, overwhelmed, over it or like you want to tell everyone to buzz off.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you are not a bad or mean person… your soul is just starving and trying to get your attention.

I remember the first day that I realized my soul was starving. Even though I was living my passion, doing great work in the world, meeting a lot of my goals, and making enough money to get by…

I found myself at the tail end of a three-week “busy binge” with little room for pleasure and play, leaving me, in one word, CRABBY.

It had gotten to the point where my assistant would come in and ask me first thing, “Christine, how are you feeling today?” just to gauge how best to navigate the day (and me) and how close she was going to stick by (or not). And I couldn’t blame her. I felt that way about me too. Problem was, I couldn’t get away from myself!

So I held an honesty hearing with myself. My first question was simply “Christine, what is going on with you?” And instantly I realized that I was unhappy, really unhappy, and had been for weeks. My reply was “What? I am one of the happiest people I know. How could this be?” My Inner Wisdom shot back:

“Because your soul is starving.
You have been so busy giving, so busy working,
so consumed with being a joy for others
that you’ve forgotten to experience joy for yourself.”


In that moment it was as if I could feel a hole inside me. I was empty, starving for nourishment — my pleasure center was empty of joy. So empty, in fact, that in that moment I couldn’t even remember what actually brought me joy. And that is when I knew I needed a radical intervention… a self-love intervention.

And I am guessing I am not alone in my experience in getting crabby and cranky because I’m not getting what I need (maybe you can relate?)

Are you so busy doing, giving and trying to keep it all together or achieve your dreams that you are pursuing happiness instead of experiencing it?

I’m getting the sense that a lot of us have work-play equations that get out of balance – where you don’t spend time and energy on activities that deliver only pleasure… instead of profit or productivity. As a result, your joy quotient plummets and your crabbiness increases. And so you joy-binge in unhealthy ways for a quick fix, but your soul never feels full.

Which is why I am dedicating the entire month of October to YOU, ME, all of us making sure we receive what our SOULS need to feel nourished.

Here’s the self love actions for you to take

1. Watch the video and take the self-love pulse check – 5 questions that will tell you if your are joy starved instead of joy-full.

2. Here on the blog, write down 3 joy-generators – things that actually create joy for you (i’ll witness them!)

3. Feed yourself the soul food – your soul needs joy to thrive – what self-love promise will you make to ensure your soul gets fed?

If you’d like some support and fun keeping your promise to feed your soul everyday, join me for the 4-week Soul Food Fiesta at The Love Club where for 4 weeks I’ll help you stay connected and committed to yourself.

If you’d like the full self-pleasure pulse check, get the book Madly in love with ME and go to Chapter 12 –

19 thoughts on “Self Love Blog: How To Stop Being So Crabby… Eat Some Soul Food.

  1. Lakshmi

    It’s hard when I’ve shut myself out and away from the world. It’s hard when I live in a destructive environment. It’s hard when you have to go through it alone. However, there is a little something inside me that is telling me I am worth the effort. Thank you for this video. I am constantly thinking I am not worth it. Slowly people like you help me realize that I am.

    1. carylo17 Post author

      Lakshmi – you were born deserving love and joy – keep giving that love and joy to yourself. with heart, christine

    1. carylo17 Post author

      Ann – thank you for letting me know about the sound – without noah there me and the mic were not in tune as much as i would have liked – hope some of the love reached you anyway xoxo

  2. Louise

    Awesome video! Actually doing much better in the last few weeks on the self-love branch than when I read the book a few months ago! Three things that bring me joy and I ma going to spend more time doing in the next month are:
    1.Stand-up paddle boarding (just got into it this year and LOVE IT!!!!!)
    2.Loving others and appreciating them with love

  3. constance rodrigue

    I clicked on the “Free Self-Love Kit” and simply got the image again – somewhat larger. How can I get the kit??

    And now your computer interface tells me that I have already sent this comment, – which is simply impossible, even in cyber-reality.

    thanks in advance,

    constance rodrigue

    1. carylo17 Post author

      HI Constance – just go to and on the top right of the page fill out the box with yoru name and email and hit the button to submit that info
      you will then get an email with a direct link to the kit – if that doesn’t work, email and Lucie my customer care person can help you. but i just tested it and it works. Welcome to the self love train!! xoxo

  4. Chaya

    Creating for fun ( never let myself do it, always need a reason and deadline)
    Swimming ( think I look unsightly in suit, so don’t swim any more )
    Reading for fun!
    Relax and hang out with friends…

    1. carylo17 Post author

      love seeing the joy filled things that are so easy … love yourself by giving them to yourself.xxoox

  5. Yvette

    1. Going to the beach in the late afternoon. Breathing in the salty air, noticing the wide blue sky above me and feeling such a sense of SPACE. Kicking and smooshing the sand as I walk, I can make a mess, it’s okay, everything isn’t going to fall on its backside.
    This post has brought to my attention how joy deprived I’ve been lately. My promise this month, is to allow joy to be a higher prioroty for me. And to allow this to influence my movements and choices more.

    1. carylo17 Post author

      Yvette- witnessing your promise to embrace and invite in JOY in your life – YES to making JOY a priority… xox

  6. Diane

    Good Morning Christine- I am loving the October Joy fest idea. One of the activities I will enjoy this month is an eCourse with Bren’e Brown and Oprah. It is a six week course that starts Oct. 20. Part of the course is about being creative. Today I will go out and buy some art supplies to use during the class. Buying art supplies NEVER shows up on my shopping list….until today. So, thanks for the reminder to open up to joy and play. Sending you a wholehearted hug, Diane in Palo Alto.

    1. carylo17 Post author

      Diane – YES creativity is Such soul food – sounds like oprah, brene and i and now you are all in alignment… play play play. xoxo

    1. carylo17 Post author

      Thanks Kathy … yes had some mic issues – so can’t fix it, but will make sure i have that mic pointed in the right direction from now on. Had to get some lessons from Noah 🙂


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