Category Archives: Self-Worth

Do You Love Yourself? 5 signs that you lack self love

Watch the video and learn the 5 signs you have, or don’t have, self love. Then make a promise to focus on the places you need love the most, from yourself.

After researching and experimenting to find the answer to “How do i love myself? And how do i know if I am doing it or not?” I’ve found there are 5 key signs – “self-love signs” – that will show you the ways in which you are, and the ways that you are not.

As I’ve shared these self love signs with people around the world, what I continued to hear was, “Wow, I didn’t even know that was a result of lacking self-love.”

Yep, most of us don’t even know what the signs are that we need more love from ourselves, so you can’t diagnose or more importantly treat yourself with the medicine you need … until now.

Loving yourself isn’t black and white, as in you do or don’t. You are strong in some areas of self-love and weak in others. #sharable

5 signs that you are loving yourself … or not.
(and the promises you need to take with yourself to love yourself better).

Are you:

1. Settling in your life in any way for less than your heart and soul desire? Playing small. Letting fear stop you. Sacrificing your dreams. Procrastinating. Listening to conventional wisdom instead of going for the life your heart and soul are craving. PROMISE YOU NEED: I never settle for less than my heart and soul desire.

2.  In relationships that don’t support you or fully honor you? In  relationships that drain you or degrade you, dishonor you in anyway. Hold on to friends, lovers, clients that arent supporting you to grow or be your best self? Lacking the kinds of friendships or the number of soul family you have around you? PROMISE YOU NEED: I only have loving respectful relationships.

3.  Being hard on yourself. You criticize instead of appreciate yourself. Put pressure on yourself. PROMISE YOU NEED: I am gentle, kind and compassionate with myself, always.

4.    Treating your body poorly – Neglecting it. Treating it like a workhorse or slave. Being mean to it. Hating on it. Instead of adoring it. Treating it like a temple. Even with wrinkles and cellulite. PROMISE YOU NEED: I treat my body like a sacred temple.

5.    Sacrificing what you really desire and what you need, giving more than you have to give? PROMISE YOU NEED: I stay true to myself even if that means disappointing another.


These are signs that YOU ARE NOT LOVING YOURSELF…

this is the self-love gate you most need to focus on this year, making and keeping the promise to love yourself in this way.



Mantra Promise to Fall in love
Okay, now it’s your turn …

Choose one area of self-love and take the ONE promise that will help you give yourself the love you most need this year.

Write the PROMISE down here on the self love blog as an act of taking it and committing to it.

Then share with me one small but mighty act you will take to keep this promise this week.

I’ll go first… I promise to stay true to myself even if that means disappointing another.  I will keep my commitment to always take space for me after leading a retreat – so Monday morning no work, just Christine time, even though other people have asked me to spend time with them that morning.

Now your turn… post here.

And then remember to join us for a year of love where you really do show up as a best friend to yourself – — I’d love to support you to choose love for yourself.

self love ceremony

Self Love Promise Meditation & Ceremony

Watch and listen to this video or download the audio and Take a ride through your relationship with yourself to find where you most need love this year, and then take a promise to give it to yourself.

In honor of the international day of self love, on February 13th, I made this meditation and ceremony for you. Every February I invite people around the world to choose ONE branch of self love that they most need to grow (while all branches need our love and attention, there is usually one that is needing it the most)… and then make and take the promise using the words that you will need to be able to tell yourself in order to CHOOSE love for yourself over fear, guilt, shame, blame, criticism, stress, pressure in the moment, when it’s hard.

Self Love TreeSelf Care * Self Awareness & Self Honesty * Self Acceptance & Appreciation * Self Trust * Self Esteem * Self Compassion and Empowerment * Self Expression * Self Honor & Respect * Self Pleasure

For example, a few years ago my big branch for the year was self-pleasure, it was crying out for my attention (often times the branch your heart and soul need you to focus on growing differs from what your mind wants or things you should do.) While I LOVED my work – writing, teaching, speaking and traveling the world, I was working ALL the time, giving SO much away that my soul was literally starving for nourishment. I was starving for joy – for the simple things that I just loved because I was a girl, not because I was a writer or teacher. You know things like reading a book in one day… watching a romantic comedy… painting.

So I chose my branch, or it chose me, and I made THE PROMISE that I knew would help me stay committed to myself:

“NO matter how much work there is to do, I will always create space and find time for fun.”

Self love promises are like anchors that yank you back into alignment with love, when you are about to choose fear, lack, stress, etc. They come booming into your psyche like a best friends voice saying HEY WAIT! You promised me!!! These promises when taken during times when you are not under the duress of choosing non loving actions, cement themselves in your heart so you can stay true to yourself all year long. They act like mantras, you can say to yourself over and over again to give you the power to give yourself PERMISSION to do what your heart and soul know is right for you.

So this year, I ask you to CHOOSE YOUR BIG BRANCH of SELF LOVE- + share your self-love promise here right on the blog.

“I choose, insert branch . I promise, insert promise.”


I’ll be making art to share with the world throughout the year using the promises you post here so not only will your promise inspire YOU , it will have the power to inspire us all!  (like this promise that we all took in the Love Club earlier this year).

Self Love Mantra I only have loving respectful relationshps

Here my promise for 2014.

“I choose to grow the branch of self-expression big time in 2014! I promise to create art, no matter what.”  

And i just took my small but mighty first act – got an easel and will be painting on my birthday on Monday!

Now your turn… I showed you mine. Now you show me yours!  POST ON THE BLOG YOUR BRANCH AND PROMISE for 2014.

And if you want love and support to grow that branch, and all your branches of self-love this year, I invite you to make this a year of love, for yourself and join me at The Love Club where together we will grow a branch of self love every month, all year long. Check it out here

Imagine A World of Self-Love – What is Self-Love?

Watch this inspiring powerful 3 minute video to FEEL why SELF-LOVE is SO important to YOU and those you love. Let the video reconnect with the LOVE you have inside yourself, for the beautiful girl, woman, you are.

And then join us in the self-love movement to reclaim the real definition of self-love, by posting YOUR DEFINITION of self-love here on the self-love blog.


Can you believe that is what the dictionary defines self-love as? Right from – self love is “conceit, vainty and narcissicsm” or “excessive regard for one’s own advantage.”It’s no wonder we have such a hard time CHOOSING the self-loving act for ourselves.

You’ve been conditioned at a very deep subconscious level to believe giving love to yourself selfish, and being called selfish in our society is like being branded with a scarlet letter.

Painting by Love Ambassador Sue Bevins

Painting by Love Ambassador Sue Bevins

When I first read this definition of self-love after my first book Choosing ME Before WE was published, I about fell out of my chair. I couldn’t believe my eyes and sadly it made all the sense of why when I would get comments from people like, ‘Self love is hippy dippy.’ ‘I can’t take care of myself first, that would be selfish.’

Or why when I would go speak at colleges or conferences smart women and girls would be totally with me when I talked about self-esteem, but when I started talking about self-LOVE they would get nervous, shrink in their seats, fidget. And it made me so sad, and mad.

Sad because… Why is love when it’s directed towards yourself any different than when you direct it to another? It’s not. Love is love. And we all know that loving other people isn’t selfish, it’s beautiful. And so is loving yourself.

And mad because… The self-esteem message we’ve been given that we can do and be anything isn’t the pancea for happiness, in fact it’s stressing most of us out… and not addressing the deeper parts. Smart women and girls (and men and boys too) are still having abusive relationships, still starving themselves, criticizing themselves, and pressuring themselves to live into some kind of unsustainable reality (did you know that girls today have stress symptoms once only found in 50 year old men… and that 1 in 4 women will die of heart disease, and that 70% of disease can be traced to stress?)

Since I couldn’t locate the person in charge of creating such harmful definitions (who is this person anyway??), I decided to take matters in my own hands and start a revolution of self-love — I made a movie, founded the international day of self-love and created very tangible ways to make LOVE for yourself something real for yourself, your children and others you love.

Today in honor of self-love day this Thursday (Feb 13th) in today’s letter, I invite you to join me in this revolution to IMAGINE A WORLD OF SELF LOVE and join in RECLAIMING THE REAL DEFINITION of SELF LOVE, i want to hear from you and blanket the world with the truth of self-love together.

Post your definition of self-love here and I’ll take all these definitions to create a piece of art that reflects what self-love REALLY IS!

For example, from Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend, page 47 – “Self love is the unconditional love and respect that you have for yourself that is so deep, so solid, so unwavering that you only choose situations and relationships – including the one with yourself – that reflect that same unconditional love and respect.”

Now your turn… post here. And i’ll send you some love back + include you in the art piece.

And remember to RSVP for the Self Love Day Party, video streamed to your living room – my gift to you.

self love quote

Start Your Year from Self Love: 4 ?s to Making Heart & Soul Goals, not pressured-filled goals

Watch this video & get the 4 questions to ask your heart and soul so you create a year you LOVE!

It can be hard to hear your heart and soul – it can feel daunting, and you can get stuck in your brain real fast. And you can also short circuit yourself because of fear. Which is why I invented this AWESOME LOVE FILLED GAME for finding your Heart & Soul Goals, and creating a year motivated by LOVE not pressure, fear or lack.

I’ve been playing this game all week — with Noah, at dinner with friends, and last night we had a Dream Party where we all played it and then painted our heart and soul desires on our windows! And now I will share it with you (window painting is optional).

The game is based on 4 core questions that help you get into your heart and soul DESIRES (desire means “from the stars” – in other words you co-create with Spirit instead of from want, lack or fear).

Here are the questions:

1. What do you desire to DO in 2014? (these are actions you desire to take)
2. What do you desire to HAVE in 2014? (these are things you are in relationship to – people, material things)
3. Who do you desire to BE in 2014? (this is about who you CHOOSE to be in the world this year)
4. What do you desire to FEEL in 2014 ? (choose three words that culiminate how you want to feel – your heart and soul work on the feeling level)

self love quote

To bring these to life say them out loud with a friend, or get pieces of paper and free flow write the answers, using the questions as statements —

“In 2014, I desire to DO… ”

“In 2014, I desire to HAVE…”

“In 2014, I desire to BE…”

“In 2014,  I desire to FEEL” — and before you talk or write, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take a breath and then just write or say what comes — no thinking it, FEEL it or SEE it… and let it emerge. The best is when you just let the energy rip out of you talking or writing and YOU surprise yourself.



A few important self-love and spiritual pieces of wisdom

1. Use the word DESIRE not words like “like to have” “want to do” – want comes from lack, like from a place of not deserving – that is so not self-love! So when you state these desires, it’s about coming from wholeness and enoughness. You already have access to all of this inside of you and through your connection to spirit. Desire means ‘From the stars’ so using this word invokes the truth that you are A. Aligning with Divine Will and B. Co Creating with the Divine. This isn’t about magical thinking or hopeful manifesting, but getting yourself into alignment with your heart and soul’s wisdom. When you do that, you create your year instead of pressure fill it.

2. January is the DREAMING TIME, February the Seeding Time – so play with these questions all month/moon long. This January holds a full cycle of the moon, which from a divine feminine perspective is really awesome and powerful. because when we create in conjunction with the moon cycle, we create realities that make harmony in our lives instead of stress.

Let’s get the desire pump primed — choose one of the 4 self love questions and STATE HERE ON THE BLOG one desire – “In 2014, I desire to Do… Have… Be… Feel… —

Here’s one of mine… it’s a DO DESIRE…  “In 2014, I desire to take a group of women to Italy for a Divine Feminine Immersion – a week of absolutely activating their Feminine Super Powers to Receive & Achieve instead of overgive and overdo… and then I desire to stay in Italy and the coasts of Greece to travel and have my own personal experience for the rest of the month!”

Now your turn… post it here on the blog.

And remember, the Inner Mean Girl 40-day cleanse starts on January 12th – clear your mind of toxins like Comparison, Guilt and Fear… Go to for the divine details!