Category Archives: Self-Worth

Self Love Signs: How to tell if you love yourself and if you don’t.

Watch the video and learn the 6 signs you have, or don’t have, self-love. Then make a promise to focus on the places you need love the most, from yourself.

After researching and experimenting to find the answer to “How do i love myself? And how do i know if I am doing it or not?” I’ve found there are 6 key signs – “self-love signs” – that will show you the ways in which you are, and the ways that you are not.

As I’ve shared these self love signs with people around the world, what I continued to hear was, “Wow, I didn’t even know that was a result of lacking self-love.”

Yep, most of us don’t even know what the signs are that we need more love from ourselves, so you can’t diagnose or more importantly treat yourself with the medicine you need … until now.

The 6 signs that you are loving yourself … or not.

Are you:

  1. Settling in your life in any way for less than your heart and soul desire? Playing small. Letting fear stop you. Sacrificing your dreams. Procrastinating. Listening to conventional wisdom instead of going for the life your heart and soul are craving. PROMISE YOU NEED: I never settle for less than my heart and soul desire.
  2. In relationships that don’t support you or fully honor you? You have relationships that drain you or degrade you, dishonor you in anyway. Hold on to friends, lovers, clients that arent supporting you to grow or be your best self?  Lacking the kinds of friendships or the number of soul family you have around you?  PROMISE YOU NEED: I only have loving respectful relationships.
  3. Being hard on yourself.  You criticize instead of appreciate yourself. Put pressure on yourself.   PROMISE YOU NEED:  I am gentle, kind and compassionate with myself, always.
  4. Treating your body poorly – Neglecting it. Treating it like a workhorse or slave. Being mean to it. Hating on it. Instead of adoring it. Treating it like a temple. Even with wrinkles and cellulite.  PROMISE YOU NEED:  I treat my body like a sacred temple.
  5. Over giving to others, not taking care of yourself, cuz you are taking care of everyone and everything else?  You know it. Enough said. PROMISE YOU NEED: I take care of myself first, without guilt.
  6. Sacrificing what you really desire, because you are afraid of letting others down?  PROMISE YOU NEED: I stay true to myself even if that means disappointing another.

Mantra Promise to Fall in love

Okay, now it’s your turn to choose one area of self-love and take ONE promise that will help you give yourself the love you most need this year. Write the PROMISE down here as an act of taking it and committing to it. And then share with me one small but mighty act you will take to keep this promise this week.

I’ll go first…  I promise to take care of myself without guilt!  This week I will take Monday morning before noon for myself to really care for ME after teaching this retreat all weekend. (ohhh can’t wait!!!)

Now your turn… post here.

And then remember to join us for a year of love –  —  I’d love to support you to choose love for yourself.


Imagine a World of Self Love

Watch this video – and imagine a world in which you – and every woman, man and child you knew, loved themselves.

And join us for the Self Love Day Super Power Circle and take a stand to give up negative self talk this year… and choose self-love talk! Take a stand to give yourself the love you need, no matter what.   Go here to RSVP for the livestream or get the recording later.


Why You Are So Hard on Yourself – choosing self compassion over self-criticism

Listen to this special session that gets to the Root of WHY you judge yourself so much and then here on the blog, using the 2 questions below tell me one of your goals you promise to motivate yourself from self-love (like self compassion!) instead of self-induced stress

You are enough

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD, the “Getting to the Root of Why We Are So Hard On Ourselves:


(taped during the March live Love Talk call with The Love Club)


I’ve been working on the Reform Your Inner Girl book I’m writing with Amy Ahlers. So I have been diving DEEP into questions like…




I’ve thought about this alot – and the most basic, take it to the root answer is because, you, me, pretty much anyone who is not living on a desert island somewhere has been infected with the message:


It’s the root of most marketing campaigns. It’s at the root of many reality tv shows. It’s in most of our school systems, corporate systems, government systems, competitive based systems who run on not-enough fuel. Must make more stuff. Must get better grades. Must be the best.

Self Love Drawing Enough GardenSince Spring Equinox is all about planting fields – and while you may not be growing tons of grapes or corn – you are creating the field of your life, that will bear, or not bear, an abundant harvest in the fall, and feed you all summer and winter long.

So I thought this weekend we’d pull out those poisioned roots that grow lack, fear, criticism and the constant pressure to do, be and have it all… and super charge them with self love to be roots that grow more of what makes your heart and soul shine.

So that you can grow the things you want to grow and reap rewards from this year and create feelings of enoughness, compassion, you know LOVE and HAPPINESS instead of lack, fear and stress.

So what are you planting this year in your own personal field, and what LOVE will you feed yourself to grow this in a way that supports and nourishes you instead of stresses you out. And put self compassion and enoughness into your field of dreams!

Use this powerful two step process to plant your seed and find your Best Friend Love Mantra you can use to keep motivating yourself from self love instead of self induced stress:

1. My heart and soul desire to… (tell me what you are planting)
2. I choose to grow this with self-love and remember that if all I do is XX, I have done enough.

Here’s mine..

My heart and soul desire to write a book that will touch women and girls hearts around the world and give them access to tools that empower them to turn off the critical, judgmental sabotaging voices of their Inner Mean Girls and tap into the wise, compassionate and truthful guidance of their Inner Wisdom. I choose to grow this with self-love knowing that if all i do i write from my heart and take great care of myself in the process I have done enough.

Now your turn…

My heart and soul desire to…
I choose to grow this with self-love and remember that if all I do is XXXX I have done enough.

And remember you can still join us for a year of enoughness at the Love Club for the special rate of $10/month when you commit to a full year of love for yourself – the yearly registration special closes March 29th. Go to

You have done enough

Are You Pushing Yourself Too Hard?

Where you pushing yourself too hard… and creating unhappiness for yourself? Watch the video and reset your expectations – what would be enough??

You have a goal. Something important to you. Something you said yes to creating, doing, achieving because you believed it would make you happy. And so you go on your way to making that goal a reality, and then something shifts. You realize consciously or maybe not consciously that to reach said goal, you are going to have to push yourself to make it. Work hard. Cancel dates. Put pressure on yourself. And the thing you were doing to make you happy is now making you unhappy.

I’ve been doing this all week with my upcoming book about reforming Inner Mean Girls – pushing myself to get it all done in the next four days even though it’s not due for 6 more weeks. Uh, I think my Inner Mean Girl has been hanging on the couch with me!!

The truth is that while there are moments we need to push hard, those should be few and far between.

Your main way of operating your life should NOT be pushing yourself so hard.

Not if you are working in alignment with what is truly best for you, and what the divine had in store for you.

Why does it happen then? You make up these mental pictures or thoughts in your mind about what you should be able to do, and how fast you should be able to do it. And then push hard to get there. But what if… instead of pushing hard and driving yourself to what you think you should be able to do, you stopped, reassessed and did ENOUGH.

No more. No less. Just enough.

My friend Sam Bennett, who wrote this great book called GET IT DONE – without having to exhaust yourself to do it! – calls this going for the “C” instead of the A++ — which my achiever has a really hard time with. But my Inner Wisdom knows is spot on.

To make this work for me, I apply self love and my mantra I AM ENOUGH by asking myself the powerful question,”What would enough look like?” And then I give myself permission to do that. I can’t do the C but I can do ENOUGH!

Today I share it with you so you can stop pushing yourself so hard! And reclaim your happiness around the thing you decided to do to make happiness!!

Watch the video and then here on the blog, ask yourself the question, “WHAT WOULD ENOUGH LOOK LIKE?” and then take your self-love enoughness stand
1. I am pushing myself too hard to…
2. Enough would look like…
3. I give myself permission to …
4. And then claim it THAT IS ENOUGH!!

I’ll go first:
I am pushing myself too hard to finish all 9 chapters of my book in the next four days, even though the manuscript isn’t due for 6 more weeks. Enough would look like me having 6 chapters done really well and tight so I don’t have to go back to them. I give myself permission to only complete 6 chapters before I leave my writing retreat, trusting that all will be done in divine timing. THAT IS ENOUGH!

Now your turn! Post here on the blog…

And remember you are invited to join me to really take make this a YEAR OF ENOUGHNESS — to break habits that keep you from the compassion, care, pleasure, all that good self love. You can join me at the Love Club for a year of self-love! Check it out,