Category Archives: Self-Care

Give Up Negative Self Talk! … Choose Supportive Self-Love Talk

What if you could give up negative self-talk? Watch this self-love divine spark for your heart

Here’s the straight self-love truth..

Just like giving up any negative toxic habit – like biting your finger nails, smoking, or eating junk food – you can CHOOSE to not be a negative self-talker.

I took the stand to give up the negative chatter 6 years ago, and it changed my entire life. It wasn’t that the self doubt, self criticism, self-induced stress disappeared completely – although it did diminish ALOT! That crazy mind buzz just no longer controlled me, derailed me, drove me to make bad choices for myself.

First, I had to make the choice. I had to get to the point in my life and in my relationship with myself where I had had ENOUGH! Where I was sick and tired of the effects the negative self-talk was having on me. Wasting my energy. Making me feel bad and like I wasn’t doing enough no matter how much I did. Pressuring me to work more, work harder, or making me feel guilty if I took a break. Leading me to sell myself out or disregard my needs in order to make another person happy. It was exhausting. And I just decided it was stupid to do this to myself. So just like I had quit smoking at the age of 30, and quit having toxic relationships at the age of 31, and quit drinking diet pop at the age of 35, I figured, why not quit negative self talk. So I did. And it stuck!

How did I give up negative self-talk?

Well to start, any time I found myself in a negative self talk situation, I would just say outloud I GAVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK… I DON’T DO THIS ANYMORE!  And I would say it out loud again and again – as if I was literally talking to myself, and I was! I was telling that inner force who wields that heavy hard hand – I call her the Inner Mean Girl, or Inner Mean Dude for boys – that I was no longer a negative self-talker. Just like I was no longer a smoker, so if someone offered me a cigarette, I could decline because I just didn’t smoke. Or I could choose ice tea at lunch instead of diet pop, because I wasn’t a diet pop drinker.

So today, I am inviting YOU to make that first step by CHOOSING TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK. To quit being a negative self-talker and to choose to be a supportive self-love talker instead!

GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK, CHOOSE SELF LOVE #BKIND2U

End Negative Self talk

 

 

Which leads us to the second part of the process of giving up negative self-talk – you need self love super power tools.

Like I said, it wasn’t that it just went away completely, so I had to develop new ways to deal with the negative banter when it came up. A simple one is the one I mentioned above… You just simply say outloud as many times as you need “I don’t do this negative self-talk thing any longer!  I am just doing it! I choose supportive self-love talk!”

Then to get the supportive self-love talk moving through your mind, here’s what you do — put your hand on your heart… close your eyes and take a breath… and ask yourself, “What are the words I need to hear right now? If I was being a best friend to myself, what would I say?” And then say those words to you, starting with your first name (you always have to start with your first name) … FIRST NAME, << the words your heart needs to hear so it can then inform your mind to settle down and be supportive and kind to you! >>.

Let’s try it here on the BLOG so you can practice – and I will super power your post with more self-love talk!

Write this
1. EXPOSE THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK – where is fear, doubt, pressure, stress, criticism showing up for you?
2. TAKE THE STAND TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK & CHOOSE SELF LOVE TALK – “I choose to give up negative self talk!” “I choose to embrace supportive self love talk!”
3. WRITE THE SELF LOVING WORDS YOU NEED TO HEAR FROM YOURSELF! I call this a ‘love stream’

 

*********

I will go first —

I’ve been having a little negative self talk pressuring me into some of my old achievement junkie patterns, eating up the spaciousness and harmony I need in my life.
I, Christine Arylo, CHOOSE TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK. I CHOOSE TO EMBRACE SELF LOVE TALK.
Love stream… Christine, you are doing enough! You are doing more than enough. You can have all the spaciousness you need to enjoy your life, walk on the beach, do your yoga, have fun and serve a billion people love. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself. In fact the more love you choose for yourself, the more harmony you will create and the more people you will touch.

 

*******

Okay, now your turn…. be real about where the negative chatter is showing up … take the promise to give up negative self talk… love stream out the words you need to hear from yourself! Post here on the self-love blog….

 

And then remember to use your self love super power tool – the SELF LOVE SOAK – every morning by telling yourself the words you need to fill your heart with love, to choose supportive self love talk first thing in the morning before you ever get out of bed!

>>AND JOIN US ON SELF LOVE DAY – FEB 13th – live in Los Angeles or via Livestream in your home! For the Self Love Super Power Circle –

where thousands of people will band together to give up negative self talk!  SIGN UP AT WWW.SELFLOVEDAY.COM<<

Self love day 2015 ug

Great Mother Love Meditation – When life is too much, do this.

Watch this Great Mother Love video and meditation & surrender what’s weighing on your heart

I don’t know why we think when we grow up that we are supposed to be all strong, and have it all together. That when we become parents or responsible adults that we won’t get scared or confused. That when life is hard we should just buck up and push through, instead of doing what a little kid would do – have a little cry, wrap up in a blankie, and ask it’s mom to make it all better with a kiss, a hug and her magic wand.

Now that’s what I am talking about – Great Mother Love.

We all need it, yet most of us have no idea how to get it.

You need Great Mother Love in the times when life feels like it’s too much… like it’s is too hard… like there’s not enough… like the burden is just too heavy… like you might even want to give up and quit.

From a spiritual perspective, these intense times are all good. It just means the shadow is coming up to be healed and transmuted into light. But from a human perspective, while you are wading through the shadow, no matter how much light is promised at the end of the tunnel, what you really want to do is crawl into bed, wrap the covers over you and come out when it’s all over?

But you can’t. People need things from you, you have to go to work, all that stuff that’s contributing to the stress in the first place!

So what can you crawl into and wrap yourself up with? Great Mother Love! Great Mother Love, when you tune into it and open to receive it is like receiving a big huge hug and kiss from the divine, or the best mother that you could ever imagine who has the power to take it all away and make it better… a place where you can just lay your head on her shoulder and let it all go… and SURRENDER all that you don’t want to carry any longer.

So how do you get to this Great Mother Love? Well that’s what this video, meditation and surrender stuff is all about.

Let’s alleviate some of this fear, doubt, stress, anxiety shall we and get you connected to Great Mother Love, shall we?

Follow these steps.

1. Watch the divine spark video I taped for you, which includes the Great Mother Love meditation

2. Give over to her what you want to surrender right now. The burden, responsiblity, fear, anxiety, and be specific. Really give it to her and let her heart take the weight off your heart.

3. Post your SURRENDER PRAYER up here on the self-love blog “I SURRENDER… And I will post back and witness and super charge your prayer.

4. Open up to receive Great Mother Love from all the places and people it shows up through, including yourself. Great Mother Love feels like caring, nurturing, embracing, sweetness, nourishing, warm, unconditional, empty of all fear. Include it in your post by saying “I AM OPEN TO RECEIVING GREAT MOTHER LOVE!)

Here’s my surrender prayer to the Great Mother

I SURRENDER THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING THE ONE IN MY FAMILY THAT HAS TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT, TO BE THE ONE WHO MAKES SURE ITS ALL TAKEN CARE OF AND WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED. I AM TIRED OF TAKING IT ALL ON AND I SURRENDER THIS BURDEN! TAKE IT GREAT MOTHER. I AM OPEN TO RECEIVING YOUR GREAT MOTHER LOVE.

Okay now your turn! Post on the self-love blog

Really let the energy flow and FEEL IT as you write it – remember it’s your surrender prayer, let it go and open up that heart to great mother love, let her divinity take on what your humanity could never hold.

Sustain Don’t Drain Yourself… a self care practice to transform the things that drain you

Yes, you want to take care of yourself. Yes, you want your life to feel in balance, in harmony. You want to feel vital, strong, and cared for. You know self care is good. Yet there are many things that can come into your ‘field’ (your body, mind, emotions, relationships, life) that drain your resources (time, energy, money, peace, life force)… and you simply can’t afford to have these things depleting you.

Self care is making sure that YOU receive what you need. Self care requires you never serve from your reserves. Which means you need to SUSTAIN not DRAIN your energy.


How? Well watch this self love spark I taped for YOUR HEART, to slow down, and take a look at your ‘field’ to see what is draining you. Be honest. Your life force depends on it.

I taped this video for you on the equinox, which is all about balance. It literally is the mid point between the solstices, and it’s a time to take stock of the field you’ve planted (think agriculture and growing crops which is a metaphor for the field and crop of your life each year.) And as you take stock of your personal field, your life, this is the time to choose to harvest what will sustain you over the winter and choose to compost that which is draining or no longer nurturing.

So, as you watch this video, really tune into yourself and honestly answer these two questions…

WHAT IN MY LIFE DRAINS ME?
WHAT IN MY LIFE SUSTAINS ME?

This could be relationships, jobs, situations, ways you work, finances, anything really. Don’t hold back. Be honest with yourself. Even if that means admitting your job, your kids, your whatever are draining you. Because once you can be honest about the drain, you can see the ways in which you can transform the drain into something that sustains you or at the very least stops draining you. And here’s the other thing to note – something that once sustained you could now drain you, and it’s up to you to see when that balance shifts, and then love yourself enough to respond to new circumstances and make the shifts inside of yourself and your life to create a most sustainable life.

Empower yourself to take care of yourself, right here on the self love blog, with these three steps …

 

ONE – “What currently drains me is… ” (admit and name one, be specific so you can see the drain)

TWO – “It also sustains me by...” (there’s some way it does give to you, and you want to keep this because  it’s supportive)

THREE – And then make your self care claim…

I CHOOSE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF NOT DRAIN MYSELF! 

and then i will witness you!

 

Christine arylo self care poster

Here i will go first.

“One…What currently drains me is having to figure out where Noah and I are going to be living, where home will be, because of our spiritual gypsy lifestyle. It drains me because I have to keep reorienting my energy to the new space,  to other people’s space, so I never feel quite settled in myself. Two… It also sustains me by allowing me to travel to be wherever spirit guides me, or wherever I want to be, because I don’t have a mortgage or home or pets to take care of. Three… I CHOOSE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF NOT DRAIN MYSELF!”

(Note: This gypsy lifestyle has been perfect for me the last 17 months since I sold my home and Noah and I took to the road. And now, at equinox, as the seasons shift, it’s time for something new, because it’s draining me more than sustaining me. And now that I can see the pieces that drain and sustain I can make shift happen.)

So love… what is ready to shift for you ? What stand will you take to SUSTAIN not DRAIN yourself.  Write it here on the self love blog, your stand for self care… what drains me… what sustains me…

You have done enough

Are You Pushing Yourself Too Hard?

Where you pushing yourself too hard… and creating unhappiness for yourself? Watch the video and reset your expectations – what would be enough??

You have a goal. Something important to you. Something you said yes to creating, doing, achieving because you believed it would make you happy. And so you go on your way to making that goal a reality, and then something shifts. You realize consciously or maybe not consciously that to reach said goal, you are going to have to push yourself to make it. Work hard. Cancel dates. Put pressure on yourself. And the thing you were doing to make you happy is now making you unhappy.

I’ve been doing this all week with my upcoming book about reforming Inner Mean Girls – pushing myself to get it all done in the next four days even though it’s not due for 6 more weeks. Uh, I think my Inner Mean Girl has been hanging on the couch with me!!

The truth is that while there are moments we need to push hard, those should be few and far between.

Your main way of operating your life should NOT be pushing yourself so hard.

Not if you are working in alignment with what is truly best for you, and what the divine had in store for you.

Why does it happen then? You make up these mental pictures or thoughts in your mind about what you should be able to do, and how fast you should be able to do it. And then push hard to get there. But what if… instead of pushing hard and driving yourself to what you think you should be able to do, you stopped, reassessed and did ENOUGH.

No more. No less. Just enough.

My friend Sam Bennett, who wrote this great book called GET IT DONE – without having to exhaust yourself to do it! – calls this going for the “C” instead of the A++ — which my achiever has a really hard time with. But my Inner Wisdom knows is spot on.

To make this work for me, I apply self love and my mantra I AM ENOUGH by asking myself the powerful question,”What would enough look like?” And then I give myself permission to do that. I can’t do the C but I can do ENOUGH!

Today I share it with you so you can stop pushing yourself so hard! And reclaim your happiness around the thing you decided to do to make happiness!!

Watch the video and then here on the blog, ask yourself the question, “WHAT WOULD ENOUGH LOOK LIKE?” and then take your self-love enoughness stand
1. I am pushing myself too hard to…
2. Enough would look like…
3. I give myself permission to …
4. And then claim it THAT IS ENOUGH!!

I’ll go first:
I am pushing myself too hard to finish all 9 chapters of my book in the next four days, even though the manuscript isn’t due for 6 more weeks. Enough would look like me having 6 chapters done really well and tight so I don’t have to go back to them. I give myself permission to only complete 6 chapters before I leave my writing retreat, trusting that all will be done in divine timing. THAT IS ENOUGH!

Now your turn! Post here on the blog…

And remember you are invited to join me to really take make this a YEAR OF ENOUGHNESS — to break habits that keep you from the compassion, care, pleasure, all that good self love. You can join me at the Love Club for a year of self-love! Check it out, www.JoinTheLoveClub.com