Category Archives: Self-Acceptance

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Release the Struggle – Love Yourself Enough To Let Go

To choose self-love is be brave enough to make the choices that bring you more happiness, even when it’s hard. Self-love is not creating struggle for yourself.

Loving yourself isn’t creating suffering for yourself. But you do it all the time when you try to control your life… try to make your life different from what it is… when you take on burdens and create judgements… when you put pressure on yourself for your life to be somehow different that it is.

Suffering comes from being attached to what you think you want. And then you feel bad because you cant manifest it or it doesn’t show up the way you want.

Suffering comes when you try and control. When you try and wrangle the world to fit your specific ideal instead of allowing what is to come through (allowing the Divine to do the work and guide you.)

Most of us will choose struggle and suffering over surrendering – because our egos tell us that if we control or we suffer we are safe. Not true. True security only comes through having the faith to surrender to what is, so that you can open up to receive more love in all its forms — abundance, prosperity, health, and more. Your brain and ego cannot understand the complexity of the universe — so time to take control away from it, and empower yourself with the Feminine Super Power of Surrender.

Today I invite you to stop causing yourself undue suffering… to release one place where you are holding on, controlling, pressuring yourself, worrying, judging by accepting what is by using the FEMININE SUPER POWER OF SURRENDER so that you can open up the space to RECEIVE something even MORE than you can imagine.

Take Yourself Through this Surrender Ritual that I and my b.f.f. transformational visionary artist Shiloh Sophia McCloud taped for you from wine country
I did just one day after I surrendered my home, my car and my ‘security’ to these physical things to open up to receive the freedom my heart and soul has craved for so long.

After you do the ritual… here on this blog, state and claim what you will let go and surrender to open up space to receive the LOVE that your heart and soul crave in whatever form that is for you
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For example, for me, this self-love surrender ritual which I did before we taped this for you,.. I said…

“I surrender needing to know where I am going to live and how this is all going to work out with my house. I am open to receiving the most beautiful places and spaces to live that fill me up with love and beauty and that support me to do my Great Work.”

Now your turn…

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HOW TO RECEIVE A COMPLIMENT: Self-love is letting people love on you

3 ways to let people love on you and gush about how great you are — without feeling guilty, weird or like you need to say something nice about them too.

As I traveled the world speaking with people, especially women, I’ve noticed that women, while great at giving, really suck at receiving. Unless she has made a specific effort to become better at receiving love, support, recognition, acknowledgment, abundance, grace, and ease, she works too hard, does too much on her own, doesn’t get paid her worth, and downplays her beauty, her brilliance, her impact and her accomplishments.

And this is not serving anyone – because everytime you downplay yourself, half receive recognition, shrink back instead of lean into your beauty and brilliance, the world loses, the people you love lose, because we receive less love from you now more. Self-love is letting yourself be seen, fully.

Living like you are a bank who only gives withdrawls instead of receiving deposits leaves you spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally bankrupt. A bank couldn’t survive and thrive without receiving deposits and neither can you!

Today I invite you, I dare you to consider making it a self love practice to become a GREAT RECEIVER.

This is a life long practice – I’ve been practicing for 7 years, and every year I and my life get better because of it.

How do you become a great receiver?

You start taking in deposits! The simplest way to begin is to become really good at RECEIVING compliments – they are like small but mighty deposits of love.

 

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Use this three step process + bonus step!

STEP ONE: BE AWARE OF YOUR BELIEFS & CHANGE THEM: Why is it so hard to take a compliment?

1. You’ve been taught that Good people give. Bad people take. Truth: No one wants to be called a taker. Great. So don’t be a taker. Be a “receiver.” Because here’s the truth — when someone gives you a compliment they are giving love, literally, to you. You aren’t taking anything from them.

2. You’ve been taught it’s better to give THAN receive. Truth: Giving and receiving are not mutually exclusive. The better equation where everyone wins is “It’s better to give AND receive.” Change your value equation, increase your ability to see that both are good.

STEP TWO: BE AWARE OF YOUR BAD HABITS & CHANGE THEM: What Are Your Most Common Compliment Rejection Techniques?

Are you…
1. Like Teflon – the compliment comes in and you let is slide right off of you, so it never really touches you. You say the words like you are receiving the compliment, but at best it’s a weak “Oh thank you…” and you change the subject, or start talking right away.

2. Like Rubber – the compliment comes in and you immediately say something nice about the other person. “Oh thank you and you too. You are also so … ”

3. Like a Window Shade… the compliment comes in to showcase your brilliance or beauty, and you pull the shade down and downplay it. “Oh this old thing, I got it at Target!” or “Oh, it wasn’t really that big of a deal.” or “Oh I didn’t really do anything.”

When someone gives you a compliment next time, stop, drop and RECEIVE IT… Let it land and take it in. Because here is the truth. They are literally giving you love — so when you don’t receive fully the compliment, it’s like saying “I don’t want your love.” Ouch. Receive the love, and the person giving the compliment will feel so much better. Self-love is letting people love you.

STEP 3: REALLY FEEL YOUR BEAUTY & BRILLIANCE & TAKE THIS DARING ACT OF LOVE.
This dare from the Madly in Love with ME Book will help you become really good at letting the compliments land.

 

My friend best selling author Marci Shimoff who wrote Love for No Reason says it takes 20 seconds to fully receive a compliment. Learn to open your heart to fully receive – it starts with a compliment… and that affects everything from your relationships, to your career, to your happiness.

STEP FOUR — SPECIAL INVITATION… LOVE ON YOURSELF RIGHT HERE!!! Give yourself a big dose of love by acknowledging yourself for your beauty and brilliance right here on the blog. Move past the fear of being called a bragger, and instead from a place of LOVE and ACKNOWLEDGMENT let your heart speak the truth of how beautiful and briliant you are.

I’ll start… “Christine I just had to acknowledge you for how much you have built your faith muscles in the last 10 years… how again and again you just follow spirit’s guidance, even when it seems unconventional. You always keep your promise to yourself to never settle for less than your heart and soul desires.. and that is inspiring.

Okay… I did mine – do I sound like a bragger? No because that came straight from my heart.

Now your turn… dare to choose love for yourself! Choose self-love.

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DARING ACT OF LOVE: Get Grateful for Yourself

 

Gratitude and appreciation is something that we know is good to give to others – but somehow we forget to give it to ourselves. The closest we get is usually giving thanks for our blessings and the people in our lives, and that is an essential part of creating and living a happy, love filled life.

And we need more than that – we need self-gratitude, in other words, self-appreciation. Because when we give ourselves appreciation, we grow our Self Acceptance. Self appreciation is one of what i call the Fantastical Four of Self Acceptance –   Appreciation, Acknowledgement, Adoration and Affection. When we love ourselves in these four ways, automatically we accept ourselves more. And the more we love ourselves in this way, the more love we store up, and the more and more we live from a place of self acceptance even on the days we don’t feel so great about ourselves… because of our overflow of appreciation, we can get ourselves back to love more quickly.

Take a Daring Act of Love Today and GET GRATEFUL on YOURSELF – using these 3 simple but mighty steps

1.  CONNECT TO YOUR HEART. Close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and take a few deep breaths feeling your heart rise and fall – this is the fastest way to get connected to yourself.

2.  EXPRESS APPRECIATION. Using these love starter statements say to yourself or outloud, “YOUR NAME, I am so grateful for…”

  • all the ways in which you have showed up for me this year  (and think about and feel and see the ways in which you have been there for yourself)
  • all the ways in which you choose to take care of me and make sure i had what I needed (and think about all the ways in which you chose to care for yourself like a mother would a child – emotionally, spiritually, physically)
  • all the ways in which you honored the dreams and desires of my heart and soul (and think about all the ways in which you went for what you really wanted)

3. FEEL THE APPRECIATION. Stop take a few breaths and let that gratitude sink in to your cells, and really FEEL THE APPRECIATION you have for yourself. And then end this self appreciation session by saying

“THANK YOU… YOUR NAME… FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND.

I AM GRATEFUL FOR YOUR LOVE”

Daring Acts of Love come from the book Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend, which has been called “an illuminated self-love guidebook that shows you exactly how to love yourself well and live your happiest life – no matter what.”  Go here to learn more about this self-love book

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Your Inner Critic Doesn’t Stand A Chance Against This Person

Every day since you could watch a TV or hear a radio or read a magazine, you were told a message. A harmful message, that made you believe things about yourself that weren’t true. What my sister of self love and co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School Amy Ahlers calls a Big Fat Lie.

This message which came from all kinds of places, made the little you, believe “You are not enough” … so you spent years and years, trying to do and be and have all the things that would finally make you enough… and still today, as an adult, the truth is, you don’t really believe you are, not really. Not at the deepest levels where it counts.

You see the message of “YOU are NOT enough” became food for your inner critic – or your Inner Mean Girl or Dude” as I like to call it… and ever since it’s been feasting on this big fat lie, fueled by a media and culture that thrives on YOU believing it.

So over the years, your Inner Mean Girl or Dude has become very strong and big… self-sabotaging your dreams, your love life, you life really… filling you up with self-doubt, self-criticism, self-neglect and even self-hate.

Until NOW that is!! See inside of you you also have two WAY more powerful forces — the arch nemesis twins of your inner critic… Your Inner Muse and your Inner Wisdom.

And today in this blog I am going to share with you two short but mighty ways to feed these pieces of you instead of that inner critic that’s been tormenting the little you and the big you for way too long.

One: Watch the love letter video I taped with one of my B.F.F.’s the transformational artist and poet, Shiloh Sophia McCloud…  she is master at activating the muse with just the right messages that erase those crazy inner mean girl/dude thoughts. Go here to watch.

Two: Attend an Inner Mean Girl Reform School tele-jam — and get 3 super power tools for turning the self sabotaging voice in your head into a self empowering self loving ally instead. Go here to register, it’s gratis on me.

And if you dare, go ahead and leave a comment here taking a stand for giving up negative self-talk for good and taking on the belief I AM ENOUGH… I CHOOSE TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK… I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE I AM ENOUGH….

think of this blog like a wall of self-love… I see you!